Devotion

C11: Warmth

The days passed slowly one by one, as I stayed by Steve's side the whole time. My sister left at the end of the first day, but I stayed every day after. Occasionally I would walk around his room, or sit in a chair, or read him a newspaper that he would sometimes wake up and listen to, but most of the time I just sat at his side. Every once in awhile he would actually have a conversation with me, but a lot of times he just lacked the strength. Sarah visited throughout the days and sometimes even brought food to eat for both of us. I just wanted him to be okay.

On the fifth day of me sitting there, he actually started getting better. It was around dinner time and I was snacking on an apple as he started to stir in his bed, actually finding the energy to sit up.

"Bucky?" He mumbled.

"Hey Stevie."

"Wow you're still here?"

"Of course." I yawned as he pushed himself up and smiled at me.

That's the smile I've been missing, sitting right across from me.

"Haven't you gone home?"

"Nah... I've practically lived in this sweatshirt."

I pulled at the sleeves as he stared at me with a questioning look.

"It looks familiar where'd you get it?"

I took another bite of apple and leaned my head over to face him.

"Your closet." I smiled.

"Knew it." He whispered back, smiling again.

"Sure you did."

"Are you testing me Barnes?" He sarcastically grinned.

"Maybe." I whispered smiling.

He pulled the hair out of his face and leaned back against his pillow, wincing.

"What's wrong Steve?"

"Nothing I'm just exhausted."

"Are you sure?"

"Kinda." He exhaled.

"That's doesn't seem so reassuring."

"I know."

He grimaced as he turned over to his side to curl up in a blanket.

"Do you need anything? I can go get whatever you want..."

I started standing up, but he reached out and grabbed my arm.

"Please don't... Just stay."

I backed down into a chair at the end of his bed.

"Okay. I'm here."

He started drifting off again as I looked over at the clock.

8:00.

I sighed and kept glancing over at Steve, even though I knew he was going to be okay now. He kept rolling over in different directions, opening his eyes to look at me every once in a while. He started holding the blanket closer and every time he moved his body would shiver.

"Steve are you cold?" I asked quietly.

"It's nothing Buck."

"I don't care, I'll give you my blanket. Are you cold?"

"...yes." He whispered.

I walked over to my floor sleeping spot and grabbed the blanket I would've slept with. I took the blanket and pulled it over Steve's blanket, creating a double layer of warmth on his small bed. He shivered underneath them as I sat next to him on the bed with my hand on his shoulder. I rubbed my eyes with the other hand and yawned, as I prepared to go sleep back in my chair.

"Do you need anything else?" I whispered.

"Yes."

He reached out for my arm and pulled it towards him, pulling the rest of me towards him as well. Shivering he pulled up the blankets and pulled my arm underneath with his. I laid down next to him and pulled the blankets down over top of us.

"You're not going to be cold tonight because of me." He whispered over his shoulder.

"But I would've."

"I know."

Steve faced the wall and pulled my arm closer to him, forcing me to be parallel with his body. I wrapped my other arm around him and pulled him in to me. I felt him shaking even under both the blankets so I hugged him even closer and felt him melt with my heat. He burrowed his head down into the blanket and I placed my head above his on the pillow.

"Does this make you feel any better?"

"Maybe." He mumbled as I watched his eyes closed.

"It does to me." I mouthed even though he couldn't hear or see it.

It felt like the other night, when we were in my basement with Caroline. I felt complete being here with him. Being next to him. Being something to him at all. He wanted me next to him, and that was the best feeling in the world.

Caroline would be smiling so much right now.

I burrowed my face into his shoulders and felt his steady breathing against mine. He was falling asleep, but I don't know how I could with my heart racing at feeling of his. I slowed my breathing to match his and closed my eyes to calm myself down.

Steve was at peace for the first time in five days... And somehow knowing that, I let myself fall asleep, knowing I was the reason why.