Devotion

C24: Leave It All

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." It's sad I have to remind him of this. But it's the first thing I can think of to say as I'm walking away.

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." He calls back at me.

I stop and turn to look at him, his eyes staring at me. There's that fire. I guess he's still a little mad.

"You're a punk." I say walking up to him again.

"Jerk." He says as I wrap my arms around his shoulders for the last time. I feel his hand on my back and I know that's the last time I ever will. It's an eerie feeling knowing that in a few minutes I won't have him anymore.

"Be careful." He whispers in my ear.

I nod and turn my back on him again. I didn't think it would hurt this much.

Why did I do this again?

"Don't win the war till I get there." He calls out to me as I walk down the sidewalk.

I smile and solute him even though I don't want him over there at all. I'm half tempted to tell him not to step foot out of the apartment but I know he would do it anyways.

As my smile fades I think about what I'm leaving behind. What I set behind me to go to war.

Steve.

Caroline.

Alex and Anna.

My Family.

I don't even like war. Why am I going?

To think that over 15 years ago I pulled Steve up off the playground in a dirty mess. The day that had changed my life.

10 years ago Steve and I were running down the street chasing the twins or showing up to random parties or playing cards in the middle of the night, distracting ourselves from each other.

5 years ago I was holding him in tears at his mothers funeral, hoping he wouldn't push me away.

1 year ago I pulled him out of a fight behind that stupid old diner we went to for shakes all the time.

1 month ago I took him back to that amusement park we went to as kids for the last time.

1 week ago I fell for him again like I did 10 years ago...

And now I'm leaving it all behind.