Devotion

C8: My Everything

When we finished walking back to Steve's house, I felt a little guilty for how I had turned him off earlier. I really hate making Steve mad, and I could tell by not telling him, he was a little disappointed in me. I hated that feeling. It made me feel like I had failed him somehow.

A cold breeze was blowing as we walked up to the apartment door in the dark. I grabbed his shoulder before he unlocked it.

"Steve... I'm sorry."

"It's okay Bucky. I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me."

He turned the key and smiled as he opened the door for me. I smiled back as I stepped into the main room.

"Hey boys, I'm just getting ready to go to bed, but you can do whatever you want until 10..." Sarah called out to us.

"Yeah mom we'll be in bed by 10." Steve chimed in from behind me, closing the door and setting the keys down on the kitchen table.

She walked out of the room and into her nearby bedroom as she closed the door. I looked back at Steve, who was staring off into space next to the lamp. He looked incredibly thin in this lighting and it almost scared me.

"Steve?"

"Hmm?"

He turned to face me, easing my thoughts.

"What do you want to do?"

"Oh uh I don't know."

He started walking to his room and I followed beside him. Everything was just where we left it from yesterday, including my blanket on the floor and his unmade bed.

"I'm surprised your mom didn't have our heads for not cleaning this up before we left."

"Heh yeah."

I threw my backpack down on the floor, plopping myself down beside it, and Steve sat down on his bed looking down at his hands for a long period of time.

"Bucky?" He asked in the silence.

"What Steve?"

He fidgeted with his hands some more and pushed the hair out of his face.

"Do you... Uh... Me... I... Um..."

He contorted his face and closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"Never mind."

"Are you sure?" I questioned back.

"Yeah... I... Just... Never mind."

"Okay..."

He kept looking down at his hands, and I kept looking at him. He looked so perfect sitting there frustrated at himself. I gazed past his blonde hair into his pretty blue eyes that weren't even paying attention to me. They flickered back and forth between the floor and his hands as he closed them occasionally. Then he unfolded his hands and looked up. I was still staring at him when he looked at me.

"What?"

"No...Um... Nothing." I shook my head.

"Okay..."

I brushed my hands through my hair and then continued to glance at him. I leaned back against the wall as he started walking around his room, picking spare cards up from off the floor from where I left them a few nights ago. He smiled when he picked up the red six and held it up to show to me.

"Guess I won didn't I?"

"Yeah... Although I haven't decided if falling asleep in the middle of game counts as cheating yet."

"Really?"

"I could've won... Maybe?"

"Uh huh sure."