Devotion

C21: The Dare

As I opened his front door, he was still hanging around my neck. His arms were linked behind my neck and his head was buried in my shoulder as I carried him around on my right arm. I felt his feet unwrap from behind my back as I set him down once we got through the doorway.

He rubbed his eyes with his hands and then took a deep breath as he sat down on the couch. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water for him to help with his drunkness.

"Bucky?" He whispered.

"Yeah Steve I'm coming."

I rushed into the room and handed him the glass as I sat down beside him.

"Do you have to leave tonight?"

"No... No I'll stay. I think you kinda need me more than the twins do tonight." I whispered.

We sat alone in the dark until he finished drinking his water. The house was quiet and cold and Steve sat there perfectly fine with it. He sat looking off into the distance like he was contemplating something serious, so I got up to return the cup back to the sink. As I grabbed the glass I heard Steve start talking behind me.

"Wait a minute..." He whispered.

"What?" I responded.

He took a deep breath and put his face in his hands.

"I didn't do my dare." He mumbled.

"It's okay."

"But now I ruined the game." He said looking up at me.

"Well we're not going back there now..."

I turned to face him with the cup in my hand and got ready to walk away before he reached out to stop me. He paused and I saw the confusion in his blue eyes.

"We don't have to."

He stood up and I watched as his hands grabbed onto my collar and pulled me into him. Everything I had ever felt for him rushed through me as his face got as close as it could to mine, closing the space between us. I set down the cup on the table behind me and reached my hands up to his head, feeling his soft hair course through my fingers. His lips fit perfectly against mine, just as I always thought they would.

Wow is this real? This is exactly what you've always wanted.

My heart was racing as his hands made their way up my face and held the back of my neck. I felt his face pull away, but his hands didn't. He looked up at me and stared into my eyes.

"Did I really just do that?" He laughed.

"Yeah." I smiled.

"Wooooow..." He whispered to himself.

"Oh my god Steve." I laughed, lightly pushing his shoulder with my free hand.

********

I spent what felt like hours just standing there looking at him in a daze. His face was faded and his eyes were flickering at the floor, he looked like he was about to fall asleep.

"Steve?" I whispered.

He didn't answer, he just stood there and stared off into the distance.

"Steve? Are you okay?"

"I think so..." He whispered genuinely confused at my simple question.

"What do you mean?"

"I... I think I need some sleep..." He muttered.

"That's a good idea." I whispered softly.

He sat down on the couch and leaned his head back against the cushions.

"Can I just stay out here with you?" He mumbled.

"Oh um... Yeah I guess..."

"Thanks Buck." He closed his eyes.

I smiled and finally took the cup off the table to the sink. I stood there and watched as he drifted off on the couch, fading into a peaceful sleep. It was rare that I actually got to watch him sleep anymore, with me not spending as much time here.

I walked out of the kitchen and pulled a blanket off of the chair across the room and held it in my arms as I glanced over at Steve. His face was buried into the couch cushion and his arm hung over the side. He looked so tired even though he was already sleeping.

I walked over to him and slid the blanket over him carefully, watching him remain still as I did. I slid down the couch and sat down on the floor next to him, leaning back against the arm of the couch. I curled up in a ball and focused on the quiet so my heart would quit racing from thinking about what had happened earlier.

Did he mean it?

Was it just because of the dare?

Come on Bucky, he was drunk.

What will he think tomorrow?

Will he regret it?

Ughhhhh....

I wish I could wake him up and ask, but I could never do that... Wake him up or ask him those questions.

So now I guess I'm just left to wonder. And dread tomorrow.