Devotion

C3: Go Fish

The walk back home was quiet. No one told Steve's mom, and neither did we. It was late when we got back to the apartment. I was going to go home and hang out with my family, but since my parents weren't ever going to be home like usual, I didn't bother. Steve wanted me here more than they did anyways.

As we passed through the kitchen, I grabbed some peas from the freezer and held them in my hand as I followed Steve back to his bedroom.

"Bucky you didn't have to do that."

"Well that depends on how bad you're hurt."

He sighed and lifted up the back of his shirt. Bruises had already formed on the bottom of his back tracing their way up his spine. I touched one and he winced.

"Steve. You should have told me he hurt you, I would've come home with you earlier."

He pulled his shirt back down and I handed him the peas.

"It's no big deal, really. I'll be fine. I promise."

"One of these days you won't be." I whispered under my breath.

He shook his head to agree with me and grabbed a pair of blue flannel pants from the closet, and tossed a red pair to me.

"Funny how you always seem to have everything for me."

"Don't make me regret it Barnes."

I laughed and smiled at him, getting a weak smile in return. He was tired, I could see it on his face. His blue eyes were forcing themselves open and his body barely even functioned properly.

"Steve."

"Hmmm."

"How about you get dressed and we'll play some cards?"

"Okay Buck whatever you say."

He yawned and sat down on the floor against his wall. I grabbed a pack from his table and got them out to shuffle. Moving my pillow out of the way, I took a spot on the floor across from him. I laid the cards out in front of us and told him to pick some.

"What are we playing?"

"I don't know, just pick some."

"Okay..."

He picked out seven cards and put them in one hand, and leaned his tired head into the other, yawning.

"I know you're tired, well just play Go Fish."

"Really Bucky? That's from when we were like 7."

"Oh well... Got any fours?" I smirked.

"No. Go fish. How about six?"

"Ah you're so lucky."

I picked out my red six and handed it to him lazily.

"Alright... Um twos?"

"Go fish." He whispered.

"Man I guess I really suck at this."

He started taking long breaths and struggled to keep his eyes open. Some time passed before he finally responded.

"You're James Buchanan Barnes. You don't suck at anything." He whispered.

I looked up at him and his eyes were fading as he barely got out the last words. His soft blonde hair flopped down in front of his face as I leaned over to tuck it back behind his ear. He was sound asleep in a matter of seconds. He looked so peaceful. I envied his ability to let the day go. I was still caught up in the anger of someone touching Steve that I couldn't even find peace with myself, knowing he walked away without me pummeling him.

Why do they do this to you Steve?

I contemplated my earlier decisions, as I sat and stared at him quietly dreaming in some other reality, while I was still stuck here.

"Nonono.... not him.... please...."

Steve was mumbling in his sleep, as I leaned in closer trying to figure out what he was saying. In doing so, all I did was spill all the cards on myself. I let him mumble some more as I stuffed the flimsy cards back into the folding box. I stood up and quietly walked over to his desk and set them down next to a picture of us eating ice cream as kids. My dad had taken us to lunch that day after he took my mom to her sister's house. We begged him for ice cream, but it didn't take much, he would've given us anything... Back when he actually cared. But now he could care less, that's the way it is for the Barnes.

Shaking off the thoughts of my family, I turned to look over to the only person I actually cared about who was still lying on the floor. I started walking over towards him and I leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"Listen Steve, I'm sorry. I know you're 16... But I'm still carrying you to bed."

I reached across his shoulder and under his knees to pick him up with ease. He was so light, I almost felt bad sometimes that I was so much bigger than him. His breathing was slow, but his warmth felt eerily fitting against my skin. I slowly walked over to his bed and set him down calmly where he would normally lay. He started stirring as I walked away towards my spot on the floor.

"Thanks Buck."

"What?"

I turned around to see him glaring at me with drowsy eyes.

"I knew you were there."

"Did you mind that I did that? I didn't mean to make you feel like a kid or anything."

He mumbled something to himself before he answered me.

"Yeah it's okay. I really didn't mind."

"Oh alright then... But you still need sleep, I didn't carry you to bed for nothing."

"Yeah yeah..."

I laid down in my spot and pulled the blanket up to my side, as I situated myself on the floor. He was drifting off, as I too fell asleep to glances of the dark ceiling.