Devotion

C18: Just Dance

When we got back to his apartment, he didn't seem tired at all, even though that's the reason why we 'had to leave'. He made it through most of the night, but I guess whatever was bothering him finally took its toll.

He set his coat on the couch as he turned on the lamp next to it with a confused look on his face. I sat on the couch next to his jacket and urged him to sit down next to me.

"Steve?"

He took a deep breath as his eyes flickered in multiple directions across the room.

"Steve?"

"What?" He shook his head.

"What's wrong?"

He sat his head in his hands and whispered things to himself that I couldn't hear.

"I would tell you... But you wouldn't get it."

"Really Steve? I have spent most of my life with you and you really think I won't get anything that you say?"

"It... Well it's hard to explain." His face contorted.

"I can manage." I smiled.

He got up from the couch and started pacing around with his hands behind his neck, looking at the floor the whole time.

"I was so excited to go tonight, but then I just... I don't know, when we were there I just didn't have as much fun as I thought I would."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I'm not sure. I just... Something felt off." He sighed.

"You looked like you were having fun."

"So did you." He looked up at me. "But I guess we both know now, neither one of us actually had fun tonight."

"That obvious, huh." I whispered.

"I saw that face you made earlier."

"I could say the same for you."

"I let the night go to waste."

"Well the night's not over yet." I smiled up at him.

"So... You want to teach me how to dance?" He laughed.

"I'd be honored to." I sarcastically retorted back.

He walked over to the couch and grabbed both of my hands pulling me up from my spot. I smiled as he looked down at our feet and tried to figure out where to go.

"Don't think about it. Just dance with me." I said.

He intertwined his fingers in mine and let me pull him along with wherever I stepped. They fit perfectly into mine, like they always have. He smiled as he looked down at his feet, making sure not to step on mine.

All the mixed emotions I had earlier faded with the replacement of the one I had been longing for. This was him being happy. This was me being happy. This was us.

"So what was so... off?" I whispered to him.

"Something about even trying to dance with her didn't feel right. And I know I'm the last person to say this seeing how no one would ever date me anyways."

"Don't say that Steve. You don't have to feel bad... Sometimes you just have to find the right partner."

He nodded and looked up at me. The dim light from the lamp barely lit his eyes causing me to glare at their wild colors. All the shades of blue and green intertwined with each other, fitting perfectly together and creating something I've never even noticed. Dare I say it, his eyes were beautiful.

"Yeah." He whispered, still looking up at me, lost in thought.

I almost felt guilty, being this close to him and feeling so lost.

I wonder if he ever looks at me like this?

His eyes were still locked on mine as we continued to be stuck in the moment. My heart was melting every second, and I didn't know how to take it. Something inside me had an urge to tell him everything.

Everything about him.

How I feel about him.

How I dream about him.

How I care about him.

How I love him.

How I just wanted to lean down and kiss him.

How I knew it was wrong, but felt so right.

How I wanted to be with him forever.

But I can't...

I can't.

He slid one of his hands up to my face and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. He smiled as he did it and it made me fall even farther into my pit of thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered.

You. You, Steve. It's always you.

"Nothing." I smiled.

It will always be just nothing.