200 days with you [ jesse eisenberg x reader]

day 110 \\ his diary

Jesse thought that he just caught a cold but his doctor informed both of you that it was bronchitis. You was a bit mad at him because Jesse never tells you that he feels himself bad. It's always 'I'm okay', 'Rough day, nevermind', 'I'm alright'. But then he was certainly not okay. You bought him prescribed medicine and left your upcoming project in order to stay with him.
In that evening his voice was almost gone but he was trying to bring him back in any way possible. He was drinking a lot of hot tea. You both were laying on his bed in his and Hallie apartments.

' Want to see... some rea...really weird stuff?' he asked with his husky voice.

' Weirder than mine? Try to surprise me' you said

' Challenge...accepted' Jesse smiled and stood up from bed.

He opened the door of his wardrobe. You leaned on the edge of the bed and started watching him. Jesse pulled off one big box from the wardrobe and closed the door. He laid that box on the bed near to you and sat down.

' What is it?' you asked with big smile on your face

' Stuff from my chi.... childhood and ... you'll see' Jesse opened the box. You stood up on your knees in order to see what is in the box.

There were a lot of different stuff : notepads, diplomas, postcards, some old clothes,scripts, photo-albums. You smiled watching at that. His arm with protruding veins took one of photo-albums. You took his old blue t-shirt. He looked at you and smiled too.

' I forgot... I forgot that I kept it' he coughed ' I've been wearing it while filming Adventureland'

' No way ' you said and looked on the face side of that t-shirt. It really was his Adventureland t-shirt. On the face side you saw printed words : 'games,games,games' The fabric which t-shirt has been made was very pleasant to touch 'Can I take it ?'

' Yes ' he smiled touching his glasses ' Come here, I want to show you some embarrassing photos of mine '

' I don't think they are embarrassing' you sat down near to him.

He placed his hand around your waist and started showing you old photos of him and his family. Almost every photo was signed with date. His family was big and funny. There was a lot of fun photos of him, his parents and sisters, that Hallie has never showed you. You felt a bit sad, because your family wasn't that good. You knew that he felt himself anxious but you respected his braveness of showing you that photos. They weren't embarrassing. Jesse was abnormally cute. He had those cute chubby cheeks and curly hair. You couldn't help smiling watching at him.

When he left for more tea you took a photo on your phone in order to save that cute picture. You put his album away and took thick black notepad from the box. It wasn't too old but it was written off. You opened the notepad and saw that first twenty pages were fulfilled with quotes of famous people. Quotes were about self-respect, success, happiness. It was his handwriting. On page 21 you saw a date and stopped reading. You understood that it was Jesse's diaries - all of that notepads.

He entered the room unexpectedly. You turned red. He saw you with his diary.

' Oh, you've found my diaries. There are a lot of weird thoughts, don't you think so?' he smiled and you was surprised by his reaction 'My therapist told me to write down everything what I felt'

' I haven't read anything. It's personal. It's yours.' you was still red. You wanted to put his diary away but somehow your arms became numb.

' You can if you want.I trust you and I have no secrets from you' he sat down near to you with cup of hot tea in his hand.

' Are you sure?'

' Yes.' he took another notepad and opened it' Just open on the random page. I'll do the same in order for you not to feel yourself uncomfortable '

You opened black notepad almost on the last page. You both started reading inaudibly. You decided that you will read only one page. No more. However interesting it could be you promised yourself you will not turn to next page.

' There is one girl.

We are very different, but I think she is beautiful.

I'm in love with her!

Even if sometimes she tells me stuff which may offend my beliefs, can hurt my feelings, can judge my lifestyle. I'm fine with that. It's matter of opinions.

The main thing that I love in her - her ability to take care of people.

Seriously, she is very caring person. It's hard to find someone like her, such kind and caring person.

I'd like to spend more time with her. Why? Because with her I feel myself confident. I feel myself ... alive. With her I am me. That version of me which I always wanted to be.

You heard Jesse laughing reading his diary.

It's so hard to see her with another guy. Especially knowing that he will hurt her. That he is doing that now. Last time I saw her in our house - she was crying. And I was angry. I still am.

She deserves so much more.

I can give her more...'

And then you stopped. He looked at you putting off his glasses.

' Love? Are you okay? What is it?' he seemed worried. You looked at him

' I'm fine, yeah. Just you wrote such good words about her... Was that about Anna?' you asked trying to avoid looking at him. But you saw that he looked through notepad in your hands.

'Turn the page' he said with husky voice. Your hands became numb because you promised to read one page. 'Please'

You finally turned the page and saw old Polaroid photo of you, Jesse and Hallie. It was taken when you traveled to Italy. And then, you understood that he wrote that about you. He was in love with you all that time, even before you went to the university. Even when you told him that you don't want any of relationships. He always was there for you. He waited.

__________________________________________________________

Hello!

Hope you liked this day.

I wonder what day you like the most? (Please answer, it's important)

Thank you for 330+ views!

Chis