Lost In Love

Chapter 24.

Please insert the song NIGHT CHANGES By: 1D. 😊

Vincent POV.

I slammed the door when i get home. I dont know what to feel. Hindi ko alam if ano mararamdaman ko knowing Hannah is pregnant and i know that's mine! That child is mine but of course there's something in me afraid of responsibilities and for the possibilities that i might get fall inlove with Hannah. As long as i want to stay away on girls.. i admit Hannah is different. I even treated her nothing so she herself stay away from me. Im afraid she will just be like other girls.. she will soon be my distraction and i will soon be like my brothers..wasted in love. I shook my head. Hindi ako magiging kagaya nila, mahina ang mga lalaking nawawalan ng kulay ang buhay dahil lang sa isang babae. I dont wanna be like my brothers! I dont wanna be like them!😴😴
I walk towards the refrigerator and get two bottles of beer. I opened the tv using the remote control and i seated on the sofa. Nagkataon naman na sa news ko nailipat ang channel and the news about a girl who died because of attempting to abort her child. Namatay siya and naabort din ang bata. I took a deep sigh. Not in my conscience i could bare living knowing i kill my own child! But thats what you said to Hannah awb Asshole! You just did wanna abort your own blood and flesh! My mind mocked me. Yeah ive said that out of frustrations. Hindi sa ayoko sa dinadala niya natatakot lang ako sa mga posibilidad na mangyari between me and Hannah and i admit sa ganda niyang yun and i can feel she is kind also. Im afraid..natatakot ako na sa bandang huli, ako ang matalo, maiwang talunan, heartbroken and wasted. I dont wanna be like my brothers as i always said. I shook my head. I feel so guilty again. Sobrang guilt na tong nararamdaman ko, hindi ko naman sinasadyang masaktan siya for what ive said. Pero mahal ko din naman ang sarili ko, and im just saving my heart for being broken, coz i know that girl could possibly break it.
And im too afraid.i shook my head.. pinatay ko ang tv and lumabas ako naupo ako sa terrace ng apartment kita ang mga nagagandahang ilaw mula sa baba. Narerelax ako kahit papano. I cant stop myself from thinking about Hannah's condition. Of all people ako dapat ang karamay niya ngayon, na ako dapat ang iiyakan niya ngayon hindi ang bestfriend niya, and of all people ako sana ang mas nakakaunawa sa kalagayan niya ngayon BUT HOW? i know shes been hurt but what ive said.. I took a deep sigh and shook my head. Hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko, alam ko na kapag nalaman ng pamilya ko to, specially ang daddy and ang mga kapatid ko siguradong magagalit sila sa akin not because i got Hannah pregnant but i hurt and disowned my child and make them feel unwanted. Hindi pa naman nailalabas ang anak ko pero pinaramdam ko na sakanya na hindi ko siya gusto. I feel so bad and guilty about this. Mamili ka Vincent, sarili mo or ang kapakanan ng magiging anak mo? My mind asked me and i dont know what to do anymore.😭😭