midnight man (joshler)

chapter five/its not that crazy

ok but THE HEATHENS MUSIC VIDEO.
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chapter five/its not that crazy

walking with tyler is peaceful.

the world seems to stop when he's around. there are no cars speeding by, there are no noisy drunks trying to stumble their way home. it's nothing like how the city should sound at night. it's just quiet.

"nice, isn't it?" he asks in a low voice.

"what?"

"the night," he gestures with his free hand.

"oh. yeah it's... odd," i finish lamely, lacking a better word.

"what's odd about it?"

another thing i have learned about tyler joseph - weirdly quizzical. he's always wondering about other people, rarely leaving room for anyone to wonder about him. of course, that doesn't stop me from wanting to question his every move, only refraining due to not wanting to scare him away. also, because i know i won't get an answer.

"it's just really quiet. not what i'm used to," i shrug.

"what are you used to?"

"loudness. filled silences. forced laughter. no frequent pauses. endless conversations," i answer immediately.

"are our conversations not endless to you?" he asks, and i catch the hint of a smile on his face.

"they seem to be sometimes," i say, swinging our arms gently in the night air.

"good," he says, fishing the other hand into his pocket.

he pulls out a set of keys, walking briskly ahead of me. our arms act a sort of leash, guiding me and providing him power. i feel vulnerable in the dark night. he unlocks the bookstore, jumping in surprise at something behind the door. he turns to me quickly, smiling sheepishly.

"what? accidentally forget to hide a body?" i joke at his nervous face.

he blinks at me. great joke, josh. real impressive.

"sorry, that was a crazy joke. man that was terrible," i snort, rubbing my face.

he grins then, shaking his head. "it's not that crazy. um, stay here will you? i've some straightening up to do."

i nod, watching him disappear behind the door.  i try not to let my mind wander as to what he meant by straightening up. it's not like he has some girl in there who thought it'd be cute to show up unannounced and naked to surprise him right? even if he did, why would that bother me? it's tyler, i barely know him. so what if he has some girl he does the nasty with every once in a while? is that any of my business?

jealousy courses through me, despite my drawn out lies to myself. duh, it bothers me. doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out you have a crush. i frown, gritting my teeth together. it's just a crush. i'll shake it off. don't you dare let it get in the way of this new friendship, dun.

i lean my back against a wall, pulling out my phone to check my twitter. i scroll through my feed, liking and favoriting recent updates from my friends. suddenly, i feel like i'm being watched. i glance up, not seeing anything in the streets. i go back to scrolling. the feeling doesn't go away. i shiver despite the heated temperature this evening. i glance upwards again, this time shifting my gaze toward the left. i jump when i see a pair of eyes in the darkness.

they come from a man standing next to an open car trunk. it's too dark to see his features - except for those damn eyes - so my gaze flashes towards the tarp laid down bumpily on the floor of the trunk, and every part of me begins to shake. his snap away from me, caught instead by a sudden noise coming from the alleyway. he jumps into their driver's seat and the car quickly peels off into the night, the 'you're being watched' feeling drifting along with it. i gasp for air, beginning to feel frightened for my very life.

the door to the bookstore opens then, followed by a cheery "sorry about that!" from tyler. he stops explaining when he looks at me.

"shit, josh are you okay?" he asks, coming to stand in front of me.

"there- there was a man, h-he was in a car," i gasp for breath, my mind panicking. "he was watching me tyler."

"where was he, j?" his voice calmly asks.

"the- the alley behind th-the bookstore," i stammer.

"oh, silly josh," he chuckles, his right hand closing around mine. "it was probably just the janitor, finishing up his shift."

"b-but he had s-something in the trunk tyler. i d-don't know what but it didn't look r-right... it looked like a bo-"

"cleaning supplies, josh. where else would you put 'em?" he chuckles lightheartedly.

this draws me out of my panicked state. why is he acting so calm? a creepy man shoving some shady things- or, if my brain wasn't making up what i think i saw, one thing- underneath  a tarp doesn't freak him out? what's the matter with him?

"why are you acting so calm?" suspicion edges into my tone.

"how am i meant to act? it was a janitor josh, you're overthinking it," he shakes his head, resting it on my shoulder.

am i?

"josh, would i ever hurt you?" he chuckles the question into my shoulder.

i don't respond. my mind is flashing i dont know i think you would let me be wrong let me be wrong.

he senses my apprehension, and looks up at me again. "what? don't you trust me?"

his voice is playful.

dangerous.

"i don't know you," i say quietly.

his face flickers with hurt, before his gaze darkens. i flinch back, terrified for the second time.

let me be wrong.

"if you don't trust me, maybe you should go," he says monotonous, emotion wiped from his face.

it takes me a moment to respond. i push up from the wall, and he takes no step back.

"maybe i should," i say, shoving against his shoulder roughly as i walk away.