midnight man (joshler)

chapter twenty two/as long as there's cake

thank you @ everyone who told me they loved this story. i really was gonna give up.

im sorry this chapter was shitty and short it's such a filler don't worry i have big things coming.
maybe you should worry.

chapter twenty two/parties arent my thing

the first thing that struck me as odd was the look of worry gnawing on tyler's face.

he always has this way about him that radiates calmness, and collection. tonight he looks scared. scared of what, i can't tell.

my eyes follow him as he paces back and forth in his apartment, a small space i only recently got invited to be inside of. i sit silently in his leather recliner, flipping the page of my newspaper for any murder reports. the man from last week hasn't come up yet.

he jumps when i stand, the leather of the chair creaking to announce my existence.

"josh, you fucking scared me," he rolls his shoulders, unnerved.

"sorry," i shrug, not sorry at all. "what are you so stressed about?"

for a -pending- sociopath, he doesn't mask the nervousness flashing across his face very well.

"n-nothing," he stutters, tugging at his hair.

"tyler, you've already told me you're a serial killer and we got past that. what else could there possibly be?" i roll my eyes.

he takes a breath of preparation before asking me how i feel about parties.

parties.

of all things.

i raise an eyebrow as i answer with,"parties aren't really my thing, but i'm sure you know that."

if he registers the slight accusation, he doesn't show it. instead he rushes out, "right, right, but what if it was a celebration party?"

"celebration of what?"

"of you and i," he smiles, but it's weary at the edges.

"we've been together for a while now tyler, celebrating that is kind of weird," i chuckle confusedly.

"no, no, celebrate us like- fuck josh here," he blushes and i watch him fumble in his pocket. "i'd get down on a knee but i think that would scare you. this is just a promise ring. i read about those and i- i want to spend the rest of my life with you. i mean not right now, because hey serial killers can't be tied down, but when i give it a rest you know. i want to come home to you at the end of the day, and sleep next to you without worrying about dead bodies showing up in the morning."

a smile breaks across my face as i walk toward him and accept the gold band he's thrust out to me. i push it onto my ring finger, feeling slightly guilty for the doubts i've been having about him lately. after that... accidental murder on my part, i hadn't really looked at tyler the  same. he just seemed scarier up close all of a sudden, and i forgot about the suffering boy who's more scared of his dreams than anything else. such an idiot, josh.

"i want to spend the rest of my life with you too, ty," i murmur, resting my head on his chest as his arms wrap around me in the comforting way they always have.

"that's what i want to celebrate."

"we can have a party," i nod, waving around my ringed finger in front of my eyes. "just as long as there's cake."

||

i sigh as i lean in to ring the doorbell of jack's house.

he and rian had sent me a text earlier this afternoon inviting me to study for our finals together. now seems good a time as any to invite them to tyler's impromptu party. if tyler gets to invite half of columbus, i at least want my friends there.

"josh the doors unlocked, you well mannered prick," jack shouts from the other side of the door.

"oh for the love of- hey josh," rian smiles easily as he opens the door for me.

"hi ri," i nod, stepping into the familiar barakat household.

"they're upstairs," he mentions, closing the door behind me.

"they?" i furrow my eyebrows, climbing up the stairs.

"yeah, jack and matt," he explains brightly.

i fight the urge to roll my eyes and walk back outside right then. what? i don't return a couple calls and they decide to replace me with matt? matt fucking healy, who, without me, would be some useless fuckboy that jack and rian can't stand-

i blink and my anger dissipates. i shake the weird feeling from my head. i wonder what has me so riled up. i never feel truly 'angry' about much. i pass it off as projection from the guilt i feel for murdering that man.

it's something i haven't let myself dwell on. mainly because i've bottled all the murder morals away. it's not good to dwell on those things when you're dating a serial killer.

partly because i'm not sure i have any feelings regarding it to dwell on. that's the scary part.

"joshua dun!" matt cheers from jack's messy bed.

"what'd you do, sleep here?" i wrinkle my nose at the smell of beer.

"among other things," he waggles his eyebrows as jack blushes and tosses his pillow at him.

"you're sick, healy," rian laughs, returning to his seat at jack's desk and leaning over his notes. 

"okay, well, i want to know; anything different about me?" i smile, posing ridiculously.

"you got a hair cut," jack says.

"no, he clearly got a spray tan," matt argues.

"no no, definitely the hair. did you get highlights?"

"ah, your acne cleared up!"

"he didn't have acne. is it darker?"

"you finally got new earrings!"

"aren't they not technically called earrings?"

"does it matter? i'm right."

"no you aren't! it's definitely something with his hair! i know, is it fluffier than normal?"

"you idiots, it's the ring," rian mutters, disinterested as he flips the page in his calculus textbook.

"OH MY GOD THE RING!" jack shouts, running over to tug at my hand.

as i explain to them all tyler's promise, and invite them to the party we're suddenly throwing, i nearly manage to completely miss the look of sadness in matt's eyes. i almost miss him leaving the room entirely, with an incoherent excuse of going out for a smoke. i don't miss the sound of crying coming from outside jack's window.

we pretend not to notice.