Want You Back (JulNiel)

Chapter Twenty - Sorrow

Sorrow

I didn't know that she was sick.
Ngayon, naiintindihan ko na kung bakit sya nakipag break. For my sake, but i don't need it. I need her.

Why did she end up like this?
Hindi man lang sinabi sa'min kung bakit.
Bakit ganun? Why did she die all of a sudden?
Dale told us that elson called him to inform us that she was gone.
She had an operation. It was successful. But after how many days. She collapse. And eventually gone.

Kinwento rin ni dale na alam nyang may sakit si jack. Pero di nila alam kung ano. Hindi sinasabi sakanya. Pati yung kay elson. Pero bakit si elson yung mas pinili nya na makasama? Bat hindi ako? Bakit hindi ako?

Ang nakakasama pa ng loob ko. Hindi man lang ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon para makita sya o masamahan don. Hindi ko rin alam kung magagalit ba ako kay dale o hindi e. If i've only found out this earlier. I might be with her. There.

Maski funeral nya. Hindi ko magawang pumunta. Galit ako kay dad. Sobra. Inuna nya pa yung walang kwenta nyang ego.

"Nak"

"Ma, bakit po?" Pinunasan ko yung mga luha na pumatak mula sa mga mata ko at naupo. Masakit padin yung ulo ko.

"Sorry" Umupo si mama sa kama ko at biglang umiyak.

"Ma" Niyakap ko si mama.

"Sana, ginawan ko ng paraan. Sana hindi ko hinayaan na nandidito ka lang"

"Ma, it wasn't your fault. You were right in first place. I'm not your only child. I can understand you ma, i also want to apologize for my selfish decisions"

"Pero tama ka e. Kailangan ka nya dun. But i refused. I'm really sorry dwayne"

"Ma, okay na po ma. Tapos na yun"

"Hindi bale anak, gagawan ko ng paraan para makapunta dun ngayon kahit sa funeral na lang nya"

"Ma, okay na po. Kahit wag na. I can't see her in that situation. I can't see her inside that thing"

"Sorry talaga anak"

"Ma, ayos lang talaga. Thank you for being supportive. I love you ma" ngumiti si mama at niyakap ako bago sya lumabas ng kwarto.

Pumunta ako sa CR at naligo.
Binuksan ko yung shower.
Bawat bagsak ng tubig ay dama ko kasabay ng pagbagsak ng mga luha sa mata ko. Para akong bading.

Jack. Jack. Come back. I need you.
Please, somebody pinch or slap me and tell me that this is only a dream. She's not dead. She can't be. That's only a bluff. That should be a bluff.

Nung matapos ako ay umalis ako ng bahay.
I need to get some air. I need time.

From: Jackie

Hey, are you okay? I heard about what happened. Do you need someone to talk to? Remember, i'm here 😕😊😉

Talk? I don't think i can.

To: Jackie

I'm okay, Jackie. Thanks for your concern

From: Jackie

Sorry 😞😫😟😢😭😭

To: Jackie

It's fine. It wasn't your fault 👍😶😬

From: Jackie

Okay then, but if you really needed someone. Remember that i'm just only one call away 😘😊

I wish jack was only one call away as you are. Tss. But that's too much impossible.

I just wanted to die, so i can be with her.

Nakarating ako sa bakante pang mga lote dito sa subdivision. Yung sobrang layo samin.

Humiga ako sa damuhan.
Hindi ko ininda ang kati na mararamdaman ng nga balat ko.

Reminiscing everything.
Our Moments together.
Her sweet Smile.
Her bright Eyes.
Her Smooth hair.
Her beautiful face.
Her soft skin.
Her touch.
Her love.

I won't be able to feel it again.
All i can feel was the waters flowing through my skin.
Hot air and hot sunshine.
these itchy grasses in my back.
But not her love.
Not her or her presence.

Can i be with her?
Should i follow her?