Want You Back (JulNiel)

Chapter Forty Five - Truth

Truth

Niyakap ko ulit si Jack at niyakap nya rin ulit ako. Sobrang saya ko.

"Dwayne, mali 'to" bigla nyang kinalas muli ang yakap. Hinawakan ko ang magkabila nyang pisngi.

"Hindi jack"

"May girlfriend kana" sabi nya

"At may asawa ka na" bahagya s'yang natawa sa sinabi ko.

"Oo dwayne. Please, tanggapin na lang natin"

"Paulit ulit mo na lang ba akong sasaktan jack? Hindi ka ba napapagod? Hindi ka pa rin ba nagsasawa?"

"Sawang sawa na ako dwayne. Kaya ayoko na" parang nagmamakaawa ang naririnig ko sa boses nya.

"Ilang beses ka na bang sumuko ha? Patuloy akong lumalaban kahit alam kong ako lang ang palaging nagpapatuloy dito"

"Dwayne, ayoko ng saktan ka. Please. I'll die someday soon and i don't wanna hurt you more. Kaya noon pa lang sinubukan ko ng putulin ang ugnayan na meron tayo"

"What are you talking about? Of course. Everyone will die. Someday at bakit ba mas pinili mo sya? Bakit mas pinili mong saktan ako noon? Anong bang meron sya na wala ako?"

"Wala dwayne"

"Gaguhan ba 'to? Kung ganun. Bakit sya pa? Ilang taon na ang lumipas pero shet talaga. Hindi pa rin nagbabago. Nagka girlfriend man ako. Hindi ko alam, hindi ko maintindihan pero mahal pa rin kita. Sumama ka na lang sa'kin, please. Kung hindi ka na masaya at kung sya ang dahilan ng pagiyak mo. Kung pinapahirapan nya ang kalooban mo. Hindi man nya ako kasing successful ngayon but i promise you that i'll give you everything that you need and everything that you want, hindi kita papahirapan gaya ng ginagawa nya" umiiling iling sya. Hindi ko talaga sya naiintindihan

"Hindi yun ganun dwayne. I am willing to be with you but i'm afraid that everything won't go as it is. Hindi ko sure pero rare lang raw ang case na nagtatagal talaga, some didn't even last a month! Year! Maswerte na yun at kung talagang mas maswerte. Mas matagal pa dun"

"Ano bang sinasabi mo?" Agad na naman syang humikbi at niyakap ulit ako

"Nagkasakit talaga ako dwayne, i had a heart disease, my heart is already not functioning very well at kailangang maagapan at ang tanging paraan para maagapan yun ay ang heart transplant. You know i'm so scared na baka hindi na ako magising at hindi na kita makita at makapag sorry man lang sa'yo o baka naman bigla na lang atakihin or what, diko alam. I'm not sure. I'm just scared and i thought seeing you happy with someone else will make me happy too, but i'm wrong. Very very wrong. It made me feel bitter. Really bitter. Akala ko rin nung una. Matatakasan kita pero pinaglalaruan talaga ng tadhana ang mga tao" nagulat ako sa sinabi nya. She's been really sick?

"I didn't know" sabi ko ng mahina pero alam kong dinig nya yun

"Ayoko ring masaktan ka kapag.."

"What about elson?"

"H-he's not my husband, dwayne"

"W-what?" nawindang ako sa narinig ko.

"He's my brother, if you can remember. My parents got separated. But when they meet again. They realize how much they love each other. Oo, naging close kami ni elson nun. He stopped kaya magkaka-batch na tayo ngayon. Affected rin sya. Gaya ko. Nung naging classmates kami. Ewan ko pero may feeling talaga ako na may something na connected sa'kin 'yong taong yun e. Maliban pa ron. Kahiwig nya 'yong kuya ko at mas naintriga ako na De Vera ang apilyedo nya. Sinubukan ko syang kaibiganin and there we both found out that we're siblings. We have a different surname dahil nakay mommy ako at pinaiba nya rin ang apilyedo ko. Di mo man lang inalam ang middle name ni elson bago mo ako hinusgahan. Elson John Mendez De Vera And i'm really sick kaya kami umalis at ikaw? Sa lahat ng taon na umalis ako akala mo nagloko lang ako. Nagiisip ka ba? Nakailang paramdam ako pero hindi mo parin nagets ha?! Na hindi ako nagloko at mahal na mahal kita"

"Pero ang sabi nya sakin asawa ka nya. why didn't you tell me? You don't trust me that much?"

"Pinapagtripan ka lang nun saka what's the use of it? What if i truly died and didn't survive that operation? Dwayne. You don't understand. It's also hard for me to choose between just leaving you or broke up with you and breaking up with you makes me think that it could be the easier way for you to moved on. It is not my intention to broke up with you and tell all of you that i died. It was them. I'm still in the operating room that time. Mas pinili raw nila 'yon kesa umasa ka sa wala kung sakaling mamatay man ako! At ayoko rin na umasa ka"

"K-kung ganun pala. Bakit nung okay ka na. Hindi mo man lang ako hinarap?"

"Wala akong lakas ng loob kausapin ka, noon and it really takes so much time for me to recover"

"What about dale? Still communicating with him while i'm wondering of where did i go wrong? What did i do wrong for you to have a reason to leave me. Or am i not enough? Is that it? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I already told you, i was deeply inlove with you and i don't want you to get hurt if that operation failed at natigil na rin ang pangungulit ko sakanya. Natakot ako na baka mas masaktan ka kung sakaling mabigo man yung mga doktor at Bawal rin ako sa gadget na kahit anong pwedeng makapag patungo sa stress ko! At kung nagkataon na pinagpilitan ko ang gusto ko na makita o makausap man lang ang isa sa inyo. Maaring wala ako ngayon dito sa harap mo at hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kaya na masaktan kita! Umiwas na'ko! Pero hindi ko alam na nagkaayos na pala kayo ng daddy mo! Saktong may emergency kaya hindi si mommy na Mrs.DV ang nakausap mo. I don't want to hurt you, but i had to dwayne. That's the simplest way of my GoodBye, na isipin mong niloko kita para kalimutan mo ako ng agaran. Pero after the operation talagang wala na akong communication sa kahit nino sainyo hindi ko rin sinabi dati kay dale na magkapatid lang kami ni elson"

"But you already did hurt me, for so many times jack. For so many times. And for a long time"

"I know, but we can't turn the time back dwayne. Past is past and it's over, we're over"

"How could you say that? It doesn't sound like you, jack"

"I'm sorry dwayne but now that you know the truth pwede bang balikan mo na 'yong sumalo sa'yo nung wala ako? She loves you, maybe more than i do" inalis nya muli ang sarili sa pagkakayakap sa'kin

"Would you rather hurt yourself than her?"

"I am willing to hurt myself just to pay my debts"

"Would you rather hurt me, too?" napaangat sya ng tingin sa'kin at umiyak na naman.

"I don't want to hurt anyone, anymore" Napangiti ako, i know you don't. Hindi yun direkta na ako. But that made me happy.