Want You Back (JulNiel)

Chapter Thirty One - Irreplaceable

Irreplaceable

Jackie's POV

She's alive? Yeah. His heart still belongs to her. I know. I can feel it. Even though they told him that Jack was dead. His heart beats for her more than i could imagine, more than anyone else could imagine.

Why did i put myself here in the first place?
Oh! Because She's a liar. She lied for her own sake. She lied because she was selfish. We all thought that she was already gone. How i wish it was true.

If she didn't love dwayne anymore then why did she have to do this? Is she insane? She wants everyone to love her.

If she don't love him anymore that time. She should've just leave him and tell him that she doesn't love him anymore. Not like this. Lying for herself. For her not to damage her image.

Is she lacking of attention?
She already left. Why does she have to go back all of a sudden?

Dwayne could've love me and he could've moved on so fast.
He really believed that she's already a cold corpse right now or a rotting corpse or maybe just skeleton, but no. If she only tell everyone the truth. Dwayne could've love me now.

Fine, i don't even know her. But i don't even know why does she have to make things hard for us either.

She's married. Just what the heck?
Now dwayne is wasted because of her. She's nonsense. She doesn't deserve someone's tears. She don't.

"Umayos ka nga dwayne. You're heavy" i thought he love me already. But in his situation right now. I guess, He really don't.

"Sorry" nasisinok nya pang sabi.

What was that for?
What was that sorry for?
For accompanying him or for him, not loving me?

I pressed their doorbell so her mama would be aware that we're already in front of their house.

I pressed it for many times before tita came out from their house.

"Oh? Jackie? Naku. Lasing si dwayne?"

"Yes tita"

"NoOoo, i'm noot" sabi nya bago sya tumawa at hinalikan ako sa pisngi

"Naku, sorry about this"

"It's fine tita, ako na rin po ang magaayos sakanya kung okay lang. You look tired na po e"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes po" tita help me out to carry dwayne to his room.

He's heavy and my shoulder is starting to ache now.

"I'll get you warm water, okay? Wait here"

"Okay po, thank you" kumuha ako ng damit sa closet nya. Para naman makapagpalit na sya.

How should i change his clothes?

"Dwayne! Wake up" i tried to wake him up pero hinila nya lang ako palapit sakanya.

"Hm, i love you" sana totoo na lang.

"Go on, change your clothes already"

"Can you change it for me?" Napatawa ako sa sinabi nya at hinampas sya.

"Are you crazy? Baka akusahan mo'ko ng rape nyan bukas"

"Okay lang. Handa akong magpa-rape sa'yo"

"Ambastos mo!" Kinurot ko sya kahit laing na lasing sya talaga. Tumawa lang ang loko. Kung ibang babae kasama neto. Naku.

"Hindi kaya, mahal lang kita"

"Hindi ako si Jack, dwayne"

"Alam ko!"

"At nasasabi mo lang yan kasi lasing ka"

"Bahala ka dyan. Kung saan ka maniniwala! Dun ako"

"Matulog ka na nga"

"Oh eto na" sabi ni tita.

"Tita, pwede po bang kayo na magpalit kay dwayne ng damit? Hihi"

"Oo naman" lumabas muna ako sa kwarto

Pagkatapos sya bihisan ni tita ay pumasok na rin ako sa kwarto nya. Pinatulog ko na si tita. She must be tired.

Binanyosan ko si dwayne.

"Jackie"

"Oh? Matulog ka na nga"

"Can you sing me a song first?"

"Ayoko nga!"

"Dali na. I won't sleep"

"Tinakot mo pa talaga ako" natawa na lang ako sakanya.

"Dali na kasi, pleeease"

"Okay okay, just promise me that you'll sleep na. Okay?"

"Okay po, kiss mo nga ako" sabi nya tapos ngumuso.

"Bastos. Pag di ka na lasing" tumawa na naman sya. Baliw talaga.

"Kanta kanaa"

"Wag ka na maingay kasi"

"Opo" tumikhim ako para masimulan ko ng kumanta.

"Can you, see me, over here
Should I just disappear?
I tried to fit in next to you
Guess I wasn't clear
Or maybe I'm just not good enough" it hurts that it fells like i'm really needing you while you're not. You're only seeing her. Not anyone else, not me. But only her. Just her.

"Feel so alone here
Can't even be myself
Tryin' to fit in
Left all I am on the shelf
Do I belong here?
Or should I just stop trying
To be some other girl" i cried because i hate to admit that i was wrong, loving you. I've tried everything for your cousin to accept me. I tried my very best to be nice to her but it seems like there is nothing i can do about it.

"When I find I'm all alone
Gotta tell myself
I'm irreplaceable
Bending backwards
Tryin' to be someone else
I tell myself
I'm irreplaceable" she's the only one, both in your mind and heart. Little by litte, my heart's been tearing into pieces. I'm just not letting you often see nor feel it. I'm trying my very best but it was all still.. nothing.

"Somehow I find a way
It's never easy
Why is it so hard?
All I've ever wanted
Is to be like them
I don't understand
Why I am who I am" to be like her actually, the one i think who've been really loved by the people around you.

"When I find I'm all alone
Gotta tell myself
I'm irreplaceable
Bending backwards
Tryin' to be someone else
Still myself
I'm irreplaceable" it hurts that they hate me. But what hurts me the most. Was you trying so hard to open a small place for me to fit in your heart.

"I've got to keep my head up
Be the girl I'm meant to me
I may not be like them but
That's okay, I can only be me"

"When I find I'm all alone
Gotta tell myself
I'm irreplaceable
Bending backwards
Tryin' to be someone else
I tell myself
I'm irreplaceable" I wish you were thinking of me at the same way. Irreplaceable.

Because to me, you're irreplaceable. It's always been you and i can't see anyone to replace you. That's why i think i can't let you go that easy

No matter what i do was useless.
You're my everything yet she's your everything.
I see no one else but you yet you see no one else but her.
i love you yet you love her.
I hate you yet i love you.
I know you can replace me yet you're Irreplaceable to me.