Want You Back (JulNiel)

Chapter Thirty Six - Heartbeat

Heartbeat

Mababaliw na yata ako. Magta-tatlong linggo na.

Nahihiwagaan na ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

Magkasama na naman kami ngayon.

"Kamusta naman kayo ng girlfriend mo?" tanong nya. Bakit naman sya naging interesado?

"Getting stronger" sabi ko lang. Napatango sya.

"So, gaano na kayo. Ugh katagal?"

"Two years"

"That was long pero mas matagal.." napatigil sya sa pagsasalita at tinignan ako

"Yeah, i know pero diba hindi 'yon sa tagal kundi sa taong hindi nang iwan? at 'yong sa'tin. Kahit matagal. Puppy love lang 'yon. High School pa 'yon at kadalasan ng mga nagsisimula nung HighSchool kahit gaano pa katagal o katatag ang naging relasyon, kahit sobrang dami ng napagdaanan. Naghihiwalay pa rin and Base on our experience, mukhang tama nga 'yon" humugot sya ng malalim na hininga. Diko alam kung para san 'yon.

"Siguro nga. Puppy love, we were both naive that time. Love and study were the only thing on our mind and hearts and reality seems nothing to us before" hindi ko alam kung para saan ang paguusap na'to. Pero sa tono nya. Halatang past na lang nya 'to dahil okay at kayang kaya nyang pagusapan 'to.

"No, ako lang jack. I'm the only naive in that relationship. You weren't. My mind and my heart was thinking and beating for you. I'm on the Love while you were on the study. There's a big difference between the two of us and reality? This is our reality now" Halata sa mukha nya ang gulat at confusion sa mga sinabi ko.

Pero ng maka bawi sya ay agad syang tumawa.

"Dwayne, Anong akala mo? Na hindi kita minahal? How rude of you to accuse me that way. I love you" she what? Ako naman ang nagulat ngayon. I can clearly hear my heartbeat right now. Dwayne. Stick with what you wanted to aim. She's already with elson and you were with Jackie.

"Y-you what? L-love me?" i don't understand why do i have to ask her again what i have heard. Bilib rin ako sa kanya. She stutter just once. Nung unang pagkikita namin. At never na naulit.

"I Loved you" Loved. Past tense. Past dwayne. Past.

"Yeah" this awkward. Yeah. Too much awkward. Yun na lang ang kaya kong sabihin.

Saglit kaming natahimik pero bigla long naalala ulit ang dahilan ko rito.

"So, what about the deal?" nararamdaman ko na medyo basag na ang boses ko. Oo, pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko. Tumikhim ako. Hindi nya pwede makita na mahina ako at hindi pa ako ganun ga over sakanya. Ayoko rin na inaakala nya na affected pa rin ako sakanya. Oo, pero hindi nya na kailangan malaman. I should accept it already. May kanya kanya na kaming buhay.

Na ang iisang mundo namin noon ay magkaiba na muli ngayon.

Iisipin ko na lang si jackie.
Si jackie na hindi nangiwan at sinalo ako.
Si jackie na mahal ako.

Sht. But my heart is betraying me. It's still beating for her. I can clearly hear my heartbeat everytime that i'm with her. I can still feel my heartbeat palpitating so fast. This is wrong but this is the reality now.

"Yes dwayne, our deal is over. You can close the deal now. Consider it done. Pumapayag na ako na sainyo kami kumuha. Send the contract to Elson's office and tell him that i agreed. I have to go" Tumayo sya mula sa pagkakaupo dito sa restaurant ng hotel nila at dinala ang mga gamit nya.

Is this the closure that i want? But why does it seem like i can't control my heartbeat again?