New Drug

Chapter 8

I was annoyed with what Hayley did yesterday, but my eyes were on her. As usual, without my consent, my eyes just stayed glued to Hayley as the teacher gave a boring lecture about energy. I was zoned out and all I could do was stare at Hayley.

Unlike me, Hayley seemed interested in what the teacher was saying. She was eagerly nodding and noting down what he said, leaving me wondering how. How did I fall for a frustrating girl who was nothing like me? It didn't make sense and groaning, I wondered if there was any medication to get rid of a crush.

    I stared at her and thought about her hair. It was long, blonde, and always up in a ponytail. Her hair was straight and I knew it would be beautiful out, so I began to wonder why she never let it out. If she did, I probably wouldn't be the only guy crushing on her since she already had beautiful eyes.

As if she realized I was staring at her, Hayley suddenly looked at me. With a blank expression, she then began to stare at me and because I was surprised she noticed me, I stayed frozen in my spot. My heart skipped a beat and then Hayley raised her eyebrows, turning back to face the teacher.

Blushing, I felt oddly happy that she had looked at me, leaving me wanting to punch myself. I had become such a loser over a girl. Since when did something as small as a girl looking at me matter so much?

    To my surprise, Hayley then looked back at me again. Her glasses had slid to the tip of her nose, exposing her stunning hazel eyes, which left me mesmerized. The colour of her eyes was just so unique and beautiful.

    Hayley turned back around again, leaving me sighing as I lost sight of her hazel eyes. I still stared at her however, wondering why she kept looking at me. For once she didn't seem angry, which left me contemplating what she wanted.

And then, Hayley looked back again at me. This time, my eyebrows rose as I tried to ask her through my expression what she wanted. To my utter surprise, she smiled at me and before I could she react, she turned around.

I blinked, stunned. She had never, ever smiled at me. Never shown me anything that would prove she didn't hate me. Warmth filled me and I knew I needed to question her.

Hayley didn't look back at me again and I prayed time would move faster. My leg was shaking as I anticipated talking to her and soon, the bell rang. I grabbed my bag and sprinted over to her, unable to wait.

Stopping in front of her desk as she packed, I blurted out, "What was that for?"

Hayley's head flew up to look at me and she seemed surprised. I stared at her, looking hopeful.

"What?" she asked simply.

"You kept looking at me and then... You smiled," I said.

"Oh." She shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know."

     "I thought you hated me."

    That was what I was wondering. I thought she hated me. Despised me because of my habit. But, you don't smile at the people you hate.

"Why do you think that?" Hayley frowned.

"You act like you do..."

"Well, I don't," she simply said, putting on her backpack. "I have never hated you."

Hayley walked off without another word, cutting off our conversation. Most would've been offended, but I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. At the thought that she didn't hate me, I was happy.

And with that, I knew she was my new drug. She could make me so happy because of the simplest things and that was just like my own drugs. Hayley was intoxicating and I definitely needed her out of my system. Fast.

*****

Carter and I sat in my car. We were in his driveway and he was packing up his things to leave. But before he could leave, I had to ask him a question.

"Carter, do you think I should ask Hayley out?" I asked, growing nervous.

He froze and slowly turned to me, growing surprised when he saw I was serious. I really was. I knew that to get rid of someone you were crushing on, you had to get close to them, and dating was usually the easiest way to do that. Dating Hayley would allow me to see her flaws that would leave me running, and I would then be finally over her.

"You're going to ask her out?" Carter asked slowly, still unable to believe my words. "Are... Are you serious?"

"Dead serious." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "I just want to get over her and it's taking too long to get to know her this way. Dating her would be quicker."

"You're losing it man. She's fucking you up."

I didn't say anything to that because I knew my plan was a stupid one. Obviously I already knew Hayley wasn't perfect, but I still wanted her. For some insane reason I did, but I still hoped that by actually being with her, I would find a reason not to like her. At this point, that was my only hope.

"Do you think she'll say yes?" I asked, just wanting an answer to that.

"Honestly man, I don't know," he said. "You guys don't know each other well and Hayley... Well, she isn't your biggest fan."

"She told me she never hated me. I don't know if she likes me, but there's some hope."

Carter stared at me for a second and I saw pity in his eyes. He knew how screwed I was and I couldn't even deny it. Because of a single girl, I was entirely whipped.

"I think you should wait," Carter said gently. "Wait until you know she'll say yes. I... I don't want you getting hurt."

    "I won't get hurt." I whipped my head to look at Carter. "I... A girl I have a simple crush on can't hurt me. I've been through worse."

    Carter looked sad and I looked away. I didn't understand why I had to fall for someone now. After everything else had finally calmed down in my life, I didn't need this.

   I sighed, knowing I needed to head home. Although I knew Hayley couldn't hurt me - at least too much - I decided to keep Carter happy. Seeing him so sad was bothersome, so I knew this was for the best.

    "Fine, I'll wait," I told him. "Okay?"

    "Good." He smiled. "Patience, alright?"

    I nodded and Carter got out of my car. I then drove home and thought about how long I'd have to wait. Too long wasn't good, so I prayed we'd get close soon. I really needed it.