New Drug

Chapter 23

    Hayley and I grew closer. With my feeling no longer making me feel like I should be distant with her, I allowed us to get closer. That was probably one of the smartest things I had ever done since now we were great friends and she had been one of the things that kept me distracted and away from drugs.

    Hayley and I were sitting on the hood of my car. School had finished and everyone had gone home, but we stayed on my car, just talking. It was enjoyable and with a question I'd been meaning to ask her, I prepared my words.

    "How have you been, Logan?" Hayley asked, looking at me and smiling.

    I smiled back immediately. As we got closer, Hayley had become more of the kind soul I saw she was with other people. I had asked her why she had treated me so rudely when I met her and I learned that it was because she thought I'd take her more seriously if she had been blunt and straightforward with her opinion. She also told me she tended to be a different person when she talked about something she was passionate about. And when I pushed for more of an answer on why she seemed to hate me, she told me she had been scared. She had lost one person she cared about to drugs and she wasn't going to risk losing another. I understood that.

"I'm great," I answered. "I've never felt better and... I have a question."

"Yes?" Hayley asked.

I didn't respond right away as I looked away to survey my surroundings. There wasn't much snow left as spring began to creep in, which made me think of fresh starts. This was the perfect time for one. All I needed was one final push.

"Do you think I'm ready to quit drugs?" I asked. "I only smoke once a day and I don't crave drugs, but... Do you really think I'm ready? Do you think I won't mess up and start again like last time?"

"Logan, I think you're ready," Hayley said. "You've been ready for a long time. Do it and change your life for the better. Permanently."

"Are you sure it'll be permanent?"

"Honestly, I have no idea what will happen in the future. I have no idea what you're capable of." Her eyes softened. "But, I believe in you and I know that this time you're serious. You want to live life to the fullest and you want to make everyone proud. Show your dad that he didn't screw you over and I know you'll be at your happiest."

My heart felt warm at her words. It was so nice to hear her words. So nice to have someone believe in me. My throat constricted then as I thought about Mom and how she once did, but I had ruined everything.

    "I can't help but feel scared," I admitted. "Like last time I made my mom cry. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do and I did it. A part of me is scared to make history repeat."

    "Then keep that in mind if you ever feel the urge to get into drugs again," Hayley said. "Remember what Rafiki said, 'The past may hurt, but you can either run from it or learn from it'. Learn from the mistakes you made and know not to make them again."

    She was right, as usual. That was one of the things I really liked about Hayley. She was incredibly wise.

"I loved that movie," I said, smiling at her. "And you're right, as usual."

"Same." She smiled. "And thanks."

We stared at each other for a moment, which was a habit we had. Whenever we would talk, we would end up staring into each other's eyes, pausing our conversation, and just take each other in. Then one of us would look away and pretend nothing happened. That was me, this time.

"Do you really think I'm ready?" I asked again, feeling nervous.

"For sure," she said, sounding confident. "Logan, I'm so proud of how far you've made it. You went from skipping most of your classes and smoking multiple blunts to going to all of your classes and smoking once a day. You did that in three months and you have no idea how incredible that is. I am so proud of you."

    I felt emotional at her words and I looked away. I was touched and I felt like I could do it. This time, I would quit drugs forever. And, it was all thanks to her.

    "It's all thanks to you," I said, looking back at her with a small smile on my face. "If you didn't help me, if you hadn't stayed by my side and advised me through my journey, I would never have been able to do it. So thank you, Hayley."

    "There's no need to thank me," she said softly. "It's been a blast being at your side."

    "Really? I'm glad you feel that way." I felt indescribably happy. "Becoming your friend is the best thing that's happened to me this year. I know we'll be leaving to university soon, but I really hope we stay friends."

I expected Hayley to be thrilled by my words, but instead she began to frown. It was only for a second and it was quickly concealed, but I caught it and it left me uneasy. I didn't remember saying anything wrong.

"Me too," Hayley said, seeming to force a smile. "I hope so too."

Hayley's eyes didn't hold any delight, so I knew something was wrong. I opened my mouth to ask her what was wrong, but she shook her head. As usual, Hayley didn't like opening up and I was fine with that. But, I still couldn't help but feel like I had done something wrong, leaving me upset.

But then, Hayley threw her arms around me. She hugged me tightly and I hugged her back, feeling my body relax. We were okay. I was great. Everything was going to turn out amazing.

"You got this Logan," Hayley whispered into my ear. "You're going to succeed."

I closed my eyes and really hoped I did. Everything was going well and all I had to do was quit to make life near perfect. I couldn't wait so eagerly, I decided to quit drugs forever.