New Drug

Chapter 17

    As usual, I sat on the hood of my car. I held my blunt in one had and my lighter in the other. I couldn't wait to get high, but I waited for a moment, thinking about Mom.

    We hadn't talked since she found out I did drugs again. That had been a week ago and it left me feeling empty. Mom was all I cared about in this world, but now she was gone. I really had no one.

    I lit my blunt and told myself I needed to forget. I needed to forget about everything and everyone, so I quickly brought my blunt to my mouth. But before I could smoke, the last person I wanted to hear spoke.

    "Logan," Hayley said. "Why are you never in class?"

    Slowly, I turned to face her. Upon seeing her expression, I groaned out loud. Hayley looked angry. So angry that I knew a fight was about to go down. I didn't want to deal with this.

"Why are you asking?" I asked. "Just leave me alone."

Hayley seemed surprised by my words. Her anger faltered for a moment, but then it came back worse. I told myself to shut up then.

"Why are you so mad?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Why are you?" I shot back.

"Because lately you've been acting like an idiot! You don't go to any of your classes!" she exclaimed. "And I don't understand why all of the sudden when you hadn't skipped for two months."

I didn't say anything to that. There was nothing I could say because she was the reason. Hayley was the reason why I had been acting like an idiot since I met her.

    "Logan, listen to me," Hayley demanded.

    I didn't. I looked away and hoped she would leave. To be honest, something in my heart was aching with Hayley in front of me. It seemed like some wounds never truly healed.

"Are you mad at me?" Hayley suddenly asked, causing me to look at her.

To my surprise, she sounded sad. Her eyes had softened up and for once, Hayley looked like the innocent, gentle girl I knew she could be. Seeing her like that made something in me snap, and suddenly my feelings were pouring out.

    "Yes, I'm mad at you!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "You... You made me think I had a chance with you. I thought that if I quit drugs, you and I could date. But turns out, you already have someone in your life. I quit drugs for absolutely no reason for you and now my habit is much worse so yes, I am mad at you."

    Hayley stared at me, stunned. I felt good for catching her off guard, but I also regretted opening up. Now Hayley knew how I felt for her and she knew I had quit drugs for her. I felt stupid.

    "You quit drugs for me?" Hayley asked slowly, still in shock.

    I looked away. "Yeah, I did."

    "Was that why you didn't skip for two months? Was that why I never saw you outside?"

    I didn't answer. I didn't want to talk to Hayley, so I wondered why I said anything. Hayley meant nothing to me now and drugs were all I needed.