The Way I look At you #Wattys2016

Chapter 18

Bakit hindi ako makatulog? I keep on tossing in my bed and the memories  are still there in my mind. Urghh! What I'm going to do with you Sebastian?

Kanina habang nagpipicture kame for the best couple booth, he whispered in my ear that he loves me. I could feel the sincerity in his voice, the longing in his eyes. These feeling I'm feeling right now are so fast and I've felt like this was wrong.

Hindi ko kase alam. I'm stuck between believing this fast approaching feeling was wrong and the love that I've felt for him. I don't know, I'd felt these before and it was lead to my heart being shattered. I don't want to commit the same mistake that I'd done for him, but how can I refrain myself from loving him if the last thing I knew is that I love him.

Magulo? Yes! And that's what they said if you felt something strange to others , there's big possibility that it must be love. Nakakatawang isipin na umiiyak ako nung nakaraan dahil sa kanya and now I can't sleep because of him again. What do you do to me Sebastian?

Nararamdaman ko paren ang lambot ng labi nya sa aking pisngi. I wondered how it feels to be felt on my lips.

Hay! Ano ba tong iniisip ko? Bakit parang ang landi landi ko na, pero hindi ko kase maiwasan na yung dating gusto kong mangyari sa amin dalawa parang unti unti nang nangyayari. Naranasan ko na ring makipagholding hands sa kanya, masuyong pag-akbay sa akin habang nasa mall kame, mga titig nyang nakakatunaw at nakakainlove at mga salitang pagmamahal sa akin, lahat ng iyon ay nangyayari na.

Natatakot ako kase hindi ko alam kung saan ako dadalhin nito. Tama lng ban a maramdaman ko to sa taong sinaktan ako na mahal ko naman? Tama lang ba yun? Kase naglalaban ang aking isipan na baka ginagawa nya lng yun dahil nakokonsyensiya sa akin or talagang mahal nya ako.

Narinig ko nlng na tumunog ang cellphone ko na nasa side table . TInignan ko lng yun. Iniisip ko kung sino ang nagtext sa akin ng ganiton oras to think na 12:30 na nang madaling araw. Actually I'm not yet sleepy, I've felt like na bumalik ako sa pagiging teenager kase ganun yun di ba, pag naiinlove ka napupuyat ka kase iniisip mo siya lalo na yung nangyari kanina.

Narinig ko na naman na tumunog. Hala sino yang nagtetext? Kahit na hinihigop ako ng higaan ko, pinilit ko ang sarili ko para makuha ko yung cellphone. As I checked the phone , I was in awe when I saw the name of Sebastian . Shit! Bigla akong kinikilig na ewan. You know the feeling when the person that bothers your sleep then magtetext nlng bigla sayo.

I opened the text message and saw the two text messages from him

'Good mornight, Can't sleep' --- Receive 12:30 a.m

'Tulog ka na ba? I hope hindi pa, text?'----Receive 12:33 a.m

I immediately composed a message to him. Actually  I can't composed a good message for him.

Bahala na.

'I can't sleep too!'---I sent.

As soon as I sent the message napangiti nlng ako, ewan ko ba natutuwa ako. Narinig ko nlng na tumunog yung phone

'Why? Thinking of Me? :) '---- He replied.Napangiti nlng ako sa kahanginan ng lalaking to, though somehow tama naman siya.

'Feeler nito, may inisip lng ako'--- I sent. Humagikgik ako na parang bata. Tumunog ang phone ko

'Sus! Deny pa toh eh heheh! Ako nga iniisip nga kita eh. Yung mga nangyari sa date naten, It was a great experienced to me and I hope na masundan pa'--- He replied. Magkaparehas kame, naiisip ko rin yung mga nangyari sa date namen. Yun nga, siya he's too vocal to his words and me tinatago ko paren.

'Hindi ko rin akalain na ganun yung date naten, and sobrang saya ko. Isa sa mga pangarap ko rin kase yun eh, and Yes, iniisip rin kita'--- I sent.

There's no use of denying, knowing him parang alam nya kung nagdedeny ako o hindi eh. Maybe I'm special to him noon pa, pero kung special ako sa kanya bakit nya ako sinaktan? Kase I believe that when you have something special, you won't do anything wrong para mawala to sayo.

'I knew it! Me too, it was indeed a great memories. Namimis na kaagad kita eh. I want to be with you'---He replied.

Hindi ko mapigilang kiligin. Nasasanay na ako na nakikita ko siya, and I'm afraid na pag sobrang sanay na ako na nandyan siya bigla nlng siyang mawawala.

'Hindi Pede, Conservative ako Kuya and it's better to have atleast distance between the two of us para kahit papaano mawala yung momentum, basta you know what I'm trying to say'---I sent

Mabuti na yung nagsasabi ako, baka kase umabot sa ganun punto na sanay na sanay na ako, hulog na hulog na ko tsaka bigla nlng siyang mawawala. Hindi ko na alam kung saan na ako pupulutin nun. That't my weakness, I give it all what I can give in the name of love.

'Why? Ok I get it! Pero pede kang umasa sa akin. Masaya ako kase unti unti mo kong binigyan ng chance. Thank You Sweetheart' --- He replied.

Napangiti ako as sign of relief. Ok na rin to.

'Thank you! O sha inaantok na ako, Thank you for being there as my midnight textmate hehe'---I sent.

Nag ayos na ako ng posisyon nakatihaya na ako sa kamay habang hawak hawak ko yung phone. Narinig ko nlng tong tumunog

'Ok Good night na rin, Dream the best of me. For sure kase napapaginipan mo ko pero hindi nga lng maganda. I hope it went well. Don't forget to pray. I love you'---- he replied.

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa pagsabe nya ng I love you. Soon I will reciprocate the feeling, soon masasabe ko ring I love you too. Hindi na ako nag reply. Nilagay ko na yung cellphone sa side table. So parang umayos ang pakiramdam ko. Kaya ko nang makatulog ng mahimbing

Thank you lord for giving a guy like him kahit na hindi pa kame official. Kayo na po bahala kung kame hanggang huli basta sumasaya ulit ako, bumabalik ang dating sigla na matagal ko nang hindi nararanasan and with that Thank you.