Rude ~ Phan

Years Go By

okay so this is going to be Phil throughout the three years that were skipped and yeah. just roll with it

Phil's POV

Ever since I got back from the hospital, I've been happier and there's been less need to fake happiness. I've been posting more videos and even my subscribers are commenting about how my smile reaches my eyes now.

Life seems to be turning itself around, for the better this time.

2 years later~

I smile down at my girlfriend, Daisy. Everyone says that she is beautiful, she has long blonde hair that falls to her hips and huge brown eyes that are easy to melt in. She's pretty tall for a girl, being 5'10, and she has long smooth legs. She's pretty tan and I'm a sucker for it.

I say that everyone says that she's beautiful because I'm still gay as fuck. I haven't told anyone since Ava because I don't want the same response.

Daisy is nice and all but she's no boy. I sigh and continue to drag my hands through her soft hair as she lays in my lap. She's falling asleep while I'm left to deal with my thoughts.

I met Daisy when I reached 2 million subscribers. My fellow YouTube friends threw me a party and Daisy was invited. Everyone kept trying to get us together and she thought I was cute, so we started dating.

That was 1 year ago. I just recently reached 3 million subs and I'm so proud. I just wish I could come out and be accepted as me and not some poser.

This was a repeat from 2 years ago, when I went to the hospital because I couldn't deal with faking my happiness anymore. I try to not drink alcohol anymore because of those memories, but my friends are party animals and I'm forced to sometimes.

Daisy finally fell asleep from the lull of my fingers running through her hair. A light snore woke me up from my thoughts. I shouldn't be sad, I should be happy because of the amazing people who love me.

I began to think of all my subscribers. Most of them didn't like Daisy because they shipped me with another YouTuber. I think his name was Dan? I didn't really care. I doubt that I will ever come out to the world, or if I will then it'll be a while still.

I didn't understand how my fans could ship me with someone who I had never even met, whatever makes them happy I guess. They were sweet people though, and they all loved and cared for me.

There was no one in the world that I loved more than my subscribers and everyone who supported me. I wouldn't be this almost happy person that I am today.

"P-Phil? Are you okay?" Daisy asked as she looked up at me sleepily with worry behind her eyes.

Her hand reached up and wiped a tear off of my cheek with her thumb. I didn't even realize that I was crying. I guess I woke her up with my tears falling on her face.

I nodded slowly and smiled sadly at her. She started to sit up slowly. She yawned cutely and then hugged me. She gave the best hugs that I have ever received. I wish we were just friends but I didn't know how to tell her.

She was just too nice. Or maybe I'm too nice. I wish that I was mean enough or just strong enough to break up with her.

I felt her jaw moving against my shoulder and I realized that she was talking.

"-acting so distant lately. Are you okay? I can't stand to see you like this, Phil. I just w-want you to be happy!" Daisy whispered to me.

Her voice cracked while she was comforting me and I knew that she was about to cry. I squeezed her tighter and then pulled away. I knew what I had to do to make her feel better but I didn't want to.

With a mental sigh, I leaned forward and kissed the two tears rolling down her cheeks. I kissed her nose and wiped away the tears as I did so. Finally, I brought my lips lower and joined our lips together. She instantly kissed back and I felt a smile grow on her lips in between the kiss.

My mind always screamed at me whenever I kissed a girl.

Pull away! This isn't right! You aren't made to be kissing girls!

I always ignored it the best I could and tried to kiss back. I felt so guilty for doing this to Daisy, she loves me and I'm basically using her. The guilt eats me alive whenever I'm with her, so she's never seen the real me, the happy me.

Maybe it's finally time that I be strong and be happy. I pulled away from her lips and sigh. Her bright, twinkling eyes look at me questioningly.

"Look, Daisy, we need to talk." I start and watch as her pretty brown eyes fill with tears.

1 year later (so now we're caught up with Dan)~

I laugh as PJ Liguori, my newfound friend, speaks in his mysterious voice. We were trying to film a cool video for his channel but I couldn't stop laughing. I was just so happy.

PJ turns to me with a small smile on his face,

"Come onnnn, Phil! I still have to edit this! Just shut your face, or else!"

He tilted his head and widened his eyes as he spoke. I laughed again and covered my mouth with my hand. I then realized what I did and forced my lips to go down into a straight face. I was determined to be serious.

PJ finished his bit and then we did his outro. As soon as he turned the camera off I burst into laughter.

"S-sorry! I can't s-stop laug-laughing!" I said in between hiccups and laughter.

PJ just shook his head and smiled. He then smirked devilishly and leaned over. He started doing weird things with his hands and then he reached down and tickled me.

I screamed and tried to wiggle away from him. I'm too ticklish though and I can't escape.

"PJ! NO, STOP! AHH, PLEASE PEEJ!" I begged to PJ while screaming and laughing.

"I WON'T LAUGH ANYMORE I PROMISE! PLEASE!"

He thinks about it for a second and then stops.

"Mission complete." He replied just like a secret agent.

I smiled and then tried to stand up but I was blocked. I blushed lightly when I realized that PJ was straddling my hips. He looked down at my face, my blush, and then slowly stood up. I could feel my face turn bright red as each second went by.

When he was finally off, I stood up quickly.

"I-I think that I should go n-now..!" I say nervously as PJ speaks at the same time.

"Wanna order pizza?"

We both giggle quickly and I start to grab my stuff.

"I've been here for a few hours now, I think I need to head home," I reply, not meeting his eyes.

We both said goodbye and I walked out the front door. I started walking home, just thinking about how my life has changed over the past 3 years.

I went from depressed to oppressed to happy.

I broke up with Daisy a year ago and I haven't dated anyone since. It's been a little lonely but it's better than dating a girl.

I'm about to hit 4 million subs, which is crazy! I never thought that I would make it this far!

I've made a whole bunch of friends. I was finally accepted into the spiderweb friend group of the YouTube community. I was welcomed and accepted for who they thought I was. They don't have any problems against the LGBT community but I was still scared.

My life wasn't perfect, but then again who's was?

~

hey guys! long-ish chapter for ya :)

i hope y'all are having a great day

ive been outside all day for my brother's
football tournament and I'm dead

ANYWAYS ill post a new chapter sooonnnn

byeee