insomniac || j.d.

josh

I tugged at the familiar sheets of my childhood best friends bed. He sat next to me while an open pill bottle sat on the other side of the room.

"Is it empty?" I pointed, the orange bottle almost impossible to see due to the absence of light.

"No." Tyler stated.

His gaze was fixed on the bottle, like maybe if he stared hard enough the bottle would teleport to him. I saw the hunger in his glare and took the opportunity to grab the bottle for him.

He seemed grateful yet very sad. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but it was there. Sadness floated around us like a dark cloud. It was worse than normal. For some reason Tyler was always sad whenever we were here with the pill bottle, but tonight was different. Tyler was miserable.

"You lied to me." I whispered, hurt flooding my eyes.

The orange bottle that sat in my hand was empty of all of its contents.

"I'm sorry Joshy." Tyler mumbled, tears stinging his perfectly rounded cheeks.

"It's ok Ty. We can fix it. You can stay longer tonight." I smiled, but my body felt very sad.

Tyler was crying nonstop. The tears wouldn't cease, so I pulled him into my chest. His skin was pale borderline turning blue.

"Why are you there Josh? What are you looking for?" Tyler sniffled in my arms.

I ran my fingers through his dark locks, being careful not to pull too hard.

"I don't know what I'm looking for, Tyler." I retaliated clearly, setting my lips on his forehead.

He choked on his breath as hiccups invaded his lung capacity. Like a child, he kept trying to breathe in yet failed, resulting in short little skips in his breathing.

"You're looking for me and you found her."

"No, no one will ever replace you." I shook my head violently and scooted away from Tyler's weak body.

"Let her, Josh."

"No! You'll go tonight, but you'll be here tomorrow! I can't replace you if you're all I have!"

My lungs burned. As I scooted back towards the broken boy, my lungs burned and I couldn't tell you why. I didn't remember screaming. Maybe it was all the tears. Maybe it was the smell of death radiating from my best friend.

I took the boys head in my hands and pressed my lips onto his forehead weakly. My body shook uncontrollably as I watched him fade from my grasp. Gone. Just like the night I found him. He was already gone.