"Hello?" Pt. 2

July 9th 2016

Chapter tomorrow instead of today. 

Some context for this conversation- Danphie have been house hunting, and now they're at their engagement party. All of Sophie's crazy Italian-French family are there and Sophie is not liking it one bit! 

Sarah, xx

~*~*~

"Sophie, sweetheart, where are you?"

"Hiding."

"I already guessed that. Where are you hiding?"

"I can't divulge that information."

"Why not?"

"Because once you know where I am, you'll come and drag me from my hiding place and force me to go back to that hell on earth."

"That hell on earth is our engagement party, Sophie."

"Urgh, don't remind me."

"Sophie-"

"I'm not coming out until those crazy people are gone."

"Those crazy people are your family."

"I'm still not coming out until they're gone."

"Be reasonable, Sophie."

"Oh, I have been very reasonable all night. I stopped being reasonable when my aunt Claudette patted my stomach and asked when the baby was due!"

"I don't think she meant-"

"She knows what she meant! She said that I was peu grassouillete. She called me pudgy!"

"Maybe it's the dress you're wearing."

"What's wrong with the dress I'm wearing?"

"Nothing!"

"Oh, my God! My dress makes me look pregnant?!"

"No!"

"But you just said-"

"Forget what I said. Let's go back to what Claudette said."

"She said I looked fat and then you said it could be because of my dress!"

"..."

"I'm not coming out of this closet, Daniel."

"So, you're in a closet?"

"..."

"..."

"No, I'm not in a closet."

"You're totally in a closet. Which one?"

"I'm not in a closet!"

"Are you in the cleaning cupboard?"

"No."

"You're a terrible liar. I'm on my way over."

"You can't. There's no room in here for you."

"I'm sure the cleaning cupboard is big enough for two people."

"It is. But it's not big enough for a third."

"Someone's hiding with you?"

"Um... no?"

"Who's with you, Soph?"

"No one is with me."

"Sophie-"

"No one is with me."

<<Feck sake, Sophie. Why ya taddlin' on me?>>

"Who the hell is that?"

"No one."

"It's someone from the Irish side of this madness. Let me see... Sophie, is Echo with you?"

"No, she is not."

"That's a 'yes.'"

"Daniel, please do not make us go back to the party! Urgh... we should have gone with your crazy idea of having a surprise wedding. It would have saved us from this complete and utter shambles of a party."

"On the upside, my grandmother is loving your family. Her, Harlow and Jacqueline are all nattering on quite happily."

"Oh, they're friends now, but just you wait. At the end of the evening, they'll all be whistling a different tune."

"Glass half full, Sophie."

"If the glass is half full then it needs filling."

"I meant, be optimistic."

"Optimism legged it out the front door as soon as the lunatics all escaped the asylum and descended here this evening."

"Your closet door is locked."

"I know."

"Want to open it and let me in?"

"Not particularly."

"Open the door, Sophie, or I'm putting in an offer for that house you hated."

"You wouldn't dare."

"I would."

"I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. Open the door and you can say that to my face."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Ah, there my gorgeous fiancée is!"

"Daniel?"

"Yes, light of my life?"

"I hate you."

<<Great, we've established ya hate him. now, drag his arse in here and shut the feckin' door!>>

"Ah, Echo. A pleasure to see you once-"

[Call ended]