It's Not That Easy.

Chapter 8

Justin's POV

"Daddy." Alana whispered to me. It was already 11 right now and Alana and I were up  and ready for the day. Melanie was still knocked out upstairs on our bed. I did a slight nod at Alana, telling her to keep talking. "Are you and mommy okay?" She asked innocently. Looking up at me with those big, sparkling eyes.

I furrowed my eyes at her, "What do you mean sweetheart?" We were in the living room watching Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

"You're always yelling at each other." She said as she wrapped herself more into the blanket we were both in.

I sighed. "No baby. Just don't-- don't..." I paused. I didn't know what to tell her.

I opened my mouth when Alana suddenly said "Morning mommy." I looked over and saw Melanie still in her pajamas, slightly smiling at Alana.

"Hey baby." She told her. I could tell she was having a hard time trying to avoid my eyes. I wouldn't blame her though.

"Hey, I don't have work today." I let out. Hey eyes finally met mine but not too long after she looked back down on the floor.

She nodded her head. "Mommy I want play with Unlce Ry and Chazzy." Alana whined, breaking up the tension in the room. She stood up from the couch and walked over to where Melanie was standing.

She hesitated a bit before saying, "Sorry baby. Not today."

Alana stomped her foot, and did the most irritating whine ever. "Please!" I saw Melanie stare at her sternly, raising her eyesbrows at her just like what any other mother would do when their child whined and complained.

I stood up, not wanting Alana to have a tantrum. "It's alright, I'll take her."

They both looked at me. "Really daddy?!" Alana ran over to me, with excitement in her eyes.

I smiled at her, "Yeah. Anything for my little princess." I said as I poked her stomach making her giggle loudly.

"Thanks." Melanie told me. "I'll catch up with you guys later. I just have to go somewhere really quick."

She left the room, probably going to the kitchen to make breakfast, leaving me confused. I could tell that things were going to change because of that stupid mistake I did last night.

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"You could be the princess!" Alana exclaimed as she ran all over Ryan's house, dragging Chaz everywhere she went.

I saw Chaz desperately let out a breath as he passed us, making Ryan and I laugh. "She's got a lot of energy today." Ryan said as he threw me a can of coke.

"When does she not?" I chuckled.

"When's Melanie coming over?" He asked me, sipping his coke.

I flinched a little as I heard him say her name. I simply shrugged. "Don't know."

He sighed. "You guys are still the same?"

I shrugged. "She asked me if I still loved her last night." I said, staring at the wall.

"Okay? How is that.. bad?" He asked me while turning on the tv.

"I didn't say anything to her." I said with no emotion. There was that numb feeling again. I hated it. It's like I had no control over my body and felt no emotion. It was just my mouth that moved.

"What the fuck dude!" Ryan widened his eyes at me. "Why didn't you say anything back?!" He was standing up by now.

"I didn't have an answer." I finally looked up and saw disappointment in his eyes.

"What the hell man. This isn't you. Yo-you love Melanie. I mean, I still remember in high school that you did everything it took just to make her look at you! What changed?" He shook his head, pausing for a bit. "You still love her right?" 

I sighed deeply. "That's the thing man. I honestly don't know anymore. I know we're a family now with Alana but... I'm just realizing that.. we may not be meant for each other after all. With everything going around us, my feelings keep changing I guess. I don't know." I shook my head in confusion. "I miss the old us y'know?" I said, looking at Ryan who stood there, shocked with everything that's coming out of my mouth. "We're not the same anymore. I think the only thing keeping us together is Alana."

There was a long pause of silence. "Where do you think you'll be right now if Alana was never here?" Ryan asked.

I thought about it for a second. "Not with Melanie." I said, completely surprised by my own words as well.

With that, Ryan sat down on the other couch, letting everything sink in.

Melanie's POV

"Where do you think you'll be right now if Alana was never here?" I heard Ryan ask.

There was a pause and I kept my hand clamped against my mouth, trying to cover up my shaky breath. I heard everything. I was hurt, broken, and... mad. Why didn't Justin tell me he was feeling this way? Chaz let me in a couple minutes ago and I was surprised to see him with pink bows all over his hair and Alana giggling behind him. I guess Ryan and Justin didn't hear me ring the doorbell since they were in such a deep conversation.

"Not with Melanie." I heard Justin's raspy voice say.

I couldn't take it anymore. I left the house, shutting the door behind me. I got in my car and just sat there for a minute, letting everything I just heard sink in. The pain and hurt I was feeling was unbearable. I bursted out in tears, resting my head on the steering wheel with my arms around it.

I felt like giving up. I knew Justin and I were broken but I didn't know it would come to the point where one of us didn't feel the same way as the other. But then again, there was my little girl. I never pictured us to be this way. I never wanted Alana to grow up without a happy family. I don't want to see her crying because of us.

I sniffed loudly, and straightened out my back, wiping the tears that still fell from my face. I drove off, not wanting to deal with anything or anyone at the moment.

I just wanted to be alone.

Justin's POV

"Still can't believe it man." Ryan let out.

"Yeah, me too." I sighed. "Never thought that we'd... end up like this."

We were interrupted by loud screaming. Looking up, we saw Alana being chased by Chaz who looked absolutely ridiculous. I widened my eyes, making sure I saw things clearly. He had pink boys all over his hair and had this tight, pink shirt that looked like it was suffocating him.

"What the fuck?" Ryan mumbled. I nodded, agreeing with him. Alana ran into my arms, hiding from Chaz.

Chaz on the other hand was laughing his head off. "What? You don't want to see the tickle monster anymore?" He asked Alana who giggled and dugged her face into my chest. I saw him look around the room a little before asking. "Hey, where's Melanie?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "What do you mean? She was never here man."

Chaz titled his head, in confusion. "YEAH! MOMMY WAS HERE!" Alana screamed against my chest.

Chaz pointed at her, nodding his head. "Yeah, I opened the door for her like half an hour ago. Did you guys not see her?" He asked.

I paused for a minute until I widened my eyes in realization. I looked over at Ryan who also had his eyes wide open. Oh fuck. She must have heard our conversation.