It's Not That Easy.

Chapter 9

Justin's POV

I sighed as Melanie walked passed by me, not even saying a word. I left Alana with Ryan and Chaz since she wanted to stay with them a little longer. I was home with Mel and it's been horrible so far. She won't even look at me.

"Can we please talk?" I finally spoke up as I followed her to the kitchen.

"I just wanted to be alone." She said bluntly.

I ran my hand through my hair in desperation. "I know but... just for a minute. It's important."

She shook her head slightly before grabbing a cup and pouring herself some water.

I knew she wasn't going to say anything so I grabbed her wrist gently and led her to the table. "Fine, you don't have to say anything but just listen." I said softly.

She hesitantly sat down on the chair and started rubbing the cup in her hands with her fingers, waiting for me to talk.

"I know you heard me talk to Ryan earlier." She froze. "I'm sorry." I let out. "I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." I sat down next to her. "I'm trying here Mel. I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of feeling this way."

She was still trying to avoid my eyes. "And you don't know how tired I am Justin." She brought her hand up to rub her forehead. "Just tell me. Right now." She said, finally looking at my in the eye. "Do you love me?" She said with soft eyes.

I paused. "Yes. I mean, no. I mean..." I shook my head, trying to clear my head. "I still love you Mel.. but just not as much as before." I told her. "You don't understand how much pressure I'm put under everyday. Even though I wasn't here all the time, I just wanted to be with you at the end of each day. That's all I ever wanted." he paused. "But I guess the feelings just changed. I'm not trying to hurt you but I don't.. I don't know if I want to be here anymore."

She paused before sniffing, letting out a few tears. "Why are you still here then?" I froze when she said that. "You made me so desperate. I waited for you everyday. You made me lie to our own daughter telling her that you'd be home soon, when in reality, you wouldn't be home hours later. You made me think there was still hope for us." She said as she bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

I put my head down, not wanting to see her cry. Not anymore. I was tired of seeing her like this because of me. I was tired of arguing everyday. I was disappointed in myself. I never wanted us to be like this. "I don't want to fight anymore." I gulped. I had to do it. "I don't want you wasting anymore tears because of me." My voice cracked. "I'm sorry. I hope you'll understand why I'm doing this someday." I paused before taking a deep breath, not daring to look up too see her. "I'm going to file a divorce." I closed my eyes as I heard her break down in tears.

Ryan's POV

"You sure you saw her?" I asked Chaz one last time.

He looked at me with annoyance, "I'm sure dude. I even opened the door for her."

I sighed. "Alright, just making sure." I said as I looked at Alana who looked genuinely happy without a care in the world as she drew in the coloring book.

"Why are you and Justin even worried? She must have went home or something to get some rest." He suggested as he noticed my worried look.

I paused, debating whether or not to tell him. "Justin and I were talking about her. She must have heard and left."

He stopped and dropped the marker in his hand, looking at me. "What did you guys talk about?" He asked me with concern.

"He told me that he didn't know if he still loved Melanie." I told him.