It's Not That Easy.

Chapter 27

Justin's POV

I continue to pace around the room nervously as I try to reword my phrases over and over again, trying to find the right words I've been needing to say for the past 3 days. No matter how much I rephrase my explanations, they never seem to sound right. I was becoming desperate. Desperate to have my wife talk to me again. Desperate to have her look at me again with those beautiful brown eyes that made me fall more in love with her every time they met with mine. Desperate to have her forgive me.

I clutched onto my pants that were daring to fall down to floor due to the loss of my belt as my other hand ran through my messy hair in distress. I've given her her space and although it was torture to have this huge gap between us, I was willing to give her what she wanted. I didn't try anything with her. I didn't try to reason or apologize. But I couldn't do it anymore. It was killing me. The silence. The intense atmosphere when we would be in the same room. Using Alana every night to have her between us when we slept. Not being able to touch or kiss her. It was horrible. You'd think 3 days isn't too much, but to me, it was like an eternity. I needed her to know how I felt and what happened. I just want everything to be solved between us again. Desperation was written all over me.

I grabbed my shirt from the bed and slipped it on. I went downstairs to grab a glass of water. I needed to cool down. The nerves were getting to me when I saw the time. She was coming home soon from dropping Alana to school and running errands. I took a deep breath in and exhaled loudly after chugging the cold liquid down my throat. I can do this. I sat myself around the table and noticed her medication case sitting on the smooth surface. I reached over and grabbed it. 3 little sections were empty and the rest were full. I didn't even realize how many pills she had to take. There must have been at least 5 pills in the remaining sections.

I left it on the table and stood up. I walked around the empty, quiet house. The only sound that was heard were my footsteps against the hard wood floor as I walked along the long halls. Our house was quite big for only 3 people so I had a lot of ground to cover to lose track of time and I was only on the first level.

That argument with Ryan was completely stupid and useless. I didn't mean to blow up at him but he had no right to jump in and say those things. This is my marriage. Not his. He shouldn't interfere. What he said definitely took a toll on Melanie though because I knew that that was all she thought about. As if she were debating whether or not he was right but that's why I wanted to do this now. It would kill me if she ever thought she could do so much better without me. We're a team. A family. I love her so much and I don't what I'd do if she ever left me. I was upset at Ryan but I knew it wouldn't last forever so I pushed it aside. He was the last thing on my head. Melanie was my main priority.

I eventually found myself stopping at the great room when I heard the sound of the garage opening. This is it. I drummed my hands on my thighs out of nerves and let out a deep breath before allowing my feet to led the way. I heard the car beep right before a door shut and I knew she was inside. I found myself fixing my hair, shirt, and pants as I continued my way down the halls. I was nervous.

I walked into the living room just in time to see her dropping her keys on the desk. She wore dark blue skinny jeans that complimented her long legs perfectly, white converse covered her feet, and a baggy sweatshirt that completed her outfit. Her flawless complexion still had the ability to catch my breath every time I looked at her. She's just absolutely beautiful.

She heard me coming and had sensed that I was in the room because her body froze for a moment. Something that had been happening for the past few days every time I came in the same room as her and I hated it.

I took one step towards her but stopped when our eyes connected for a split second. My breath hitched but I swallowed the air in me instead. She instantly averted them to the floor and I knew she regretted looking at me. My heart stung because of that but I kept up my posture. A shudder ran through my body when confusion and worry hit me. Was I the only one feeling like this? Was I the only one that yearned and missed her touch and voice? I wondered if she needed more time but I wasn't giving into that anymore. I've waited long enough and I'm tired of this silence between us.