It's Not That Easy.

Chapter 10

Ryan's POV

"I'm so sorry Mel." Chaz told her as he rubbed her back.

She didn't say anything. She just sat there in tears. "If there's anything we could do for you, we'd be happy to offer you anything you need." I told her.

She sniffed. "Thanks you guys. It means a lot." Her voice cracked.

I still couldn't believe it. I mean, I didn't think Justin was that serious when he said he wouldn't be with her if Alana wasn't here. I just thought the stress from his career was kicking in.

"Here you go mommy." I looked over to my right and saw Alana walking in the room with a napkin in her hand. I smiled slightly at her. Never in my life did I ever think this would happen to them.

"Thank you sweetie." Mel told her with a fake smile on her face. Even though it was fake, it amazes me how strong and capable she was of taking care of Alana. It's not like Alana's a hard headed kid, she's the cutest and most polite little girl I have ever met. It just takes a lot of work raising a child alone.

Alana stood in front of her, "Mommy why are you crying?" She asked her once again.

Melanie sighed but Chaz quickly saved her by asking Alana if she could show him the dolls that she's been telling him about all day. She accepted with no hesitation, leaving Melanie and I alone.

"Ry?" She asked me making me look at her. "Is it alright if you guys stay here for the night? I'm not sure if I want to st-" I cut her off.

"Yeah, it's fine Mel. We'll be here." I smiled at her.

I agreed, not wanting anything to happen to her or Alana. "Thanks Ry." she smiled.

Melanie's POV

After saying good night to Ryan and Chaz, they went into their guest rooms. "Want to sleep in your room or mine?" I asked Alana. Justin didn't come yet and honestly, I was glad. I just know for a fact that if I see him, I'll break down again. I'm just thankful that Ryan and Chaz were here to take my mind off of him.

"Can I sleep with you?" She asked me.

I nodded my head at her. "Come on let's go. It's already late."

After getting into the covers, she broke the silence, "Can you get my sippy cup? Please mommy?"

I sighed, not wanting to say no to her, "Okay babygirl." I got up from the bed and turned on the tv so she had something to do while I was gone. Besides, she was afraid of the dark.

I went downstairs and into the kitchen and saw lights flashing from outside through the window. Looking out, I saw Justin getting out of the car. I sighed. Greaaat.

Justin's POV

I laid back in the seat, motionless. I was.. I didn't know what I was feeling right now. Was it relief? Guilt? Regret? I've been in this car for hours now and I've been contemplating whether or not I made the right decision. I could say honestly I still love Melanie. Looking back, I still remember everything I told her. From being complete strangers to newly weds. I scoffed to myself. Now look at us.

Who was I kidding? I love Melanie with all my heart. She was right. My career was too much. But I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to give up. I wanted to make myself that I didn't love her anymore. I shook my head. No. I had to stop doing this to myself. This is just bringing more stress into my life.

But then again. I told her I was going to file a divorce. Everything inside me started to explode. I groaned and roughly slammed my hands on the steering wheel in front me. I started to breathe faster and I could almost hear my heart beating rapidly. I started the car, wanting to get away from where ever I was but when I looked in the rear mirror, I saw Alana's car seat just sitting there in the back seat. I immediately started to calm down and placed my hands firmly on the wheel. I felt tears forming thinking to myself the many times I let my own daughter down. All I've done was shown her how much of a monster I was. I was suppose to be a role model to her. I was supposed to be with her as she grows up.

Everything snapped in my head as I remembered something that could change both mine and Melanie's lives. Who was Alana going to live with now?

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After being in the car for what seemed like the whole day, I decided to go home. I closed the door behind me and noticed the light on in the kitchen, knowing it was Melanie. My body stiffened as I saw the light turn off and footsteps coming towards me. I looked up to see Melanie in her pjs and bags under her eyes. She looked so tired. She stopped walking, noticing I was here. I cleared my throat, "Hey." I said quietly.

She didn't say anything. Wouldn't blame her.

I took off my jacket and hanged it on the rack and noticed Alana's sippy cup in her hand. "She's still awake?" I asked her, pointing to the cup.

She simply nodded and continued to walk her way pass me to go up the stairs.

"Just because I said I wanted a divorce doesn't mean you could be a drama queen around me." I muttered as she passed by me. All I wanted was for her to at least acknowledge me.

I guess she heard me since she stopped walking and turned to look at me. She paused for a minute and looked at me with tired eyes and disbelief. "Really?" She let out. Her voice sounded so weak and tired. I almost regretted opening my mouth.

I looked down. "At least talk to me. You know I hate it when you ignore me."

"There's nothing to talk about Justin. Besides, what difference does it make. Not like I mean anything to you now." She said. I could tell in her voice she was trying to sound confident.

I sighed, "I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Don't worry about the papers, I'll sign them. I'll call my lawyer tomorrow morning." Her voice cracked.

I winced. "Alright." It was dead silent now. Not awkward, just.. quiet.

I was taken back when she suddenly burst into tears. "Justin." She said, almost pleading. "Just tell me. Why? Why did you have to do this?"

I shook my head, not wanting to do this again. "Not now Mel."

"No." She told me. "You said you wanted to talk! I just want to know Justin. What did I do wrong?" She didn't bother wiping her tears. She just let them fall from her face.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know anymore okay? I already told you. We keep going through this. It's the same routine everyday."

"You never give me a reason! It's always an excuse with you." She said.

"I don't know what you want me to do!" I said, my voice slightly rising. "You deserve better than me! OKAY? There, I said it!" I yelled, letting a few tears fall.

She shook her head at me, taken back at what I just said. "You were all I needed Justin. I just needed you! That's all I ever wanted. We were both fighting for each other but in the end, you gave up. What changed your mind?"

I gulped, leaning on the back. "I'm just as tired as you are Mel. I guess it came to me.. all I ever wanted was my career. I wanted to make people happy. I loved the chills I get every time they scream and yell. The more I was away from you, the more I experienced it and loved it even more." I paused, finally letting it all out.

She rubbed her forehead as she let out small gasps from the tears. "You could've told me that sooner." Her hands started to shake as they grasped the cup. She turned around to walk up when I hesitantly stopped her from doing so.

"Wait." I said. "What about Alana?"

She turned around, furrowing her eyebrows through her tears, "What about her?" She asked, unsure of what was to come.

"I don't know. I mean, someone has to look after her." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yeah, that's why she's staying with me. Like she always has." She snapped.

Before she could walk away, I spoke. The words had just flew out of my mouth without even a second thought. "I want full custody on her."