I realized that I havent posted in a while, and I figured I would now. First off, I know that I am sometimes out there, or sometimes very by myself. I know that some people hate me and some don't. SO f*ck it all and screw the world.
I learnt something new today. My friend from soccer saw a little cut on my leg, and knew immediatly that something was off. She waited until the end of practice to talk to me, and then she talked to me about loads of stuff, but mostly about why I'm feeling the way I am. So I've come to realize that this is why
My reasons why:
1) Im always put down by my family
2) I am never good enough
3) I have no talents
4) I'm the outcast
5) My brother picks on me all the time and I have to take it.
6) Every day I come home and fight with my mum.
7) I feel nothing. No happiness or sorrow.
8) I dissapoint my grandparents and that mean a lot to me
9) I break so many promises
10) A lot of people don't like me in school, and whilst I pretend thats okay, it's not.
11) I value opinions a lot and getting shit from people whom I don't even know means a lot to me. I hurts
12) No matter what, I always come second. I am second best to Marc, second best at everything
13) I quit swimming and get shit from my brother, my mum, my old swim team friends
14) Swim team kids are cruel.
So ya, theres some reasons why. I may have slipped up, but I am promising myself today, that I will not cut this week. I wont. I will write and write and write but I will not cut. I will draw, I will do anything but I wont cut. I wont. I promise. I promise Abby and Canisa and Kristy and Hannah and Nicki and Jocelyn and Katie and Breanna. I promise.
