Revelation | ✓

Chapter 3

A/N: yayayay people are actually reading this!

My own scream wakes me from my nightmare. I sit straight up in bed, panting, drenched in a cold sweat.

The light to my room flicks on, and my mother rushes forward and hugs me. The tip of one black raven wing peaks out from the collar of her shirt. "It's okay." She rubs my back, sitting on the edge of my bed and hugging me to her. I rest my cheek against her, her heart thudding against my ear. "It was just a dream."

I squeeze my eyes shut and tightly hug her. I don't need to open my eyes to see Dad leaning against the doorway to my room with his arms folded over his chest, watching the two of us, his dark blue eyes taking us in as if this is the last time he'll ever see us. And it just might be- you never know with my father.

Mom pulls away and brushes some tears away from my face. I wonder how I look now, trying to force back tears- are my usually rosy cheeks splotchy, the whites of my eyes that ugly red color that they get when I want to cry? Or are they just a little pink, my face only a little pale?

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks, smoothing back some hair that came loose from the braid I always put it in before bed.

I shake my head. "N-no."

"Do you want me to make you hot chocolate or something?"

I nod, swiping at my face with the edge of my long sleeve. She kisses my forehead and smiles. "Okay." She looks at Dad, who- sure enough- is leaning against the doorway. "Can you calm her down for me?"

Dad nods, like he always does. "Of course." 

Mom goes to walk back into the "living room" area of our large-ish apartment, and my dad stops her. He slides his arms around her waist and gives her a short kiss. I giggle, like I did when I was little. "Tobias." She scolds him, glancing at me.

He rolls his eyes. "She's fine. She and Ryde are probably like his aunt and uncle- kissing every opportunity they get."

At this I really  laugh- it's been our parents' joke since I was seven and Ryde was nine that we would end up falling in love one day. I guess it makes sense, since I've had a crush on him for years, but I've never had the guts to tell anyone. Some Dauntless I am.

My mom shakes her head at him and leaves the room, muttering something about boys never growing up. My dad takes a seat next to me on my bed. He's quiet for a few minutes. "You know, before I married your mother, I went into my fear landscape every day for almost two straight years. Never missed a day."

I lean closer, interested by this new information. It's rare that my parents share much about their past- I really only know the names of my grandparents and what faction my parents are from. I also know who my uncle is on my mom's side, but I only met him once, and it was very tense between him and Mom.

"And then Mom happened?"

He shakes his head. "No. Then the war happened." He looks at the floor. "It almost tore us apart, that war. We thought it took Will from Christina, and Marlene and Lynn from all of us. But it didn't. Somehow, in some crazy, insane, highly improbable way, it didn't."

I hug my knees to my chest. "When did you know that you loved Mom?"

He smiles at me. "I was probably thirteen or fourteen, obviously not much older than you. I didn't even know her name then. But that morning, things had been... difficult. And both of us were volunteering somewhere- I can't exactly remember where- but she just gave me this smile. And I assume you know well about how Abnegation is very against physical contact, but she lightly touched my hand and said 'Everything will be alright.'"

"And then what?"

"And then her father called her over and she just skipped away." He looks at me. "Hopefully one day you'll find someone that makes you want to smile every time they cross your mind. And I hope this isn't put to the test, but I hope that you find someone that you love enough to die for." He tucks some hair behind my ear.

"Vae!" My mom calls.

I hug my dad tightly. "I love you, Daddy." It's something I haven't called him in years.

He chuckles. "I love you too, Vae."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"So what're you going to choose at your Choosing Ceremony?" I ask Ryde, sitting down the flat rock. My mom showed me this place a few years back, said it was the first place that she and Dad first kissed. I drop onto the rock, and Ryde sits up higher so that his feet aren't in the water of the chasm. This is sort of our secret place when we want to be alone. I move up so that we're eye level.

He shrugs, laying on his back. He folds his arms behind his head so that he can look at the water. "I don't know. Probably Dauntless. You?"

I lift a shoulder. "Not sure yet. Abnegation, maybe?"

He snorts and rolls his eyes. "Why would you want to join the Stiffs?"

"Maybe I like how they live. Maybe I just want some quiet for once." I say defensively. I immediately feel bad when I realize why he said what he did. I should know him well enough to know that he doesn't want to never see me again. I bite my lower lip and look away.

Where you go, I go. It was a promise we made when we were younger. Now that we're older, I bet he has the same fear- that we'll break that promise and go separate ways, that one day- and one day soon- we'll be nothing more to each other than a handful of memories.

I don't want to just be some memories, especially not for him.

"You do realize that if you become Abnegation, I'll never be able to see you again."

I look at my hands, at my black jeans and black shirt and jacket. Would I really want to give it up? Could I truly give up all of this for a life of quiet, of solitude, one where I can't speak my mind? "I know." I say quietly, my throat tightening.

Ryde is not one to take unnecessary pity on someone, and I am not one to accept it. "Just remember that unless you're factionless, we'll never see each other again." He starts to stand up and leave.

"Ryder?" I say it so quietly, barely above a whisper. I'm surprised when his slowly disappearing footsteps stop and turn around.

"Yeah?" He stops behind me.

I keep my eyes on the water before turning back to look at him. "Where you go, I go. Remember?"

He nods. "I remember." He reaches down and pulls me up, steadying me when I lose my footing on the rocks. 

Someday, I know, we will have to make the choice that could break us apart. But today is not that day, and so I banish these sad thoughts from my mind and instead focus on the happy ones.