Emison: Home

Chapter 4: We Don't Talk Anymore

Emily's POV

'' So wait Alison is marrying that British dude???'' Quinn scoffs. I called her just after recovering from the initial shock

'' Yeah'' I answer flatly not budging from my seat on the couch

'' Wow...'' she takes a breath before coming to sit next to me '' How do you feel about it?''

'' Honestly?'' I say turning my head her way '' I'm pissed as fuck! She never told me she was this serious about them! She never even mentioned to me they were engaged! Like what kind of fucking best friend is that??? How could she not tell me!'' I exasperate raising my voice

'' Emily, she had her reasons, I'm pretty sure you know that better than anyone at this point''

'' What do you mean?''

'' Emily... Come on, she was probably scared of hurting you. Maybe she was even hoping that you would try and get her back before they''

'' Why??? WHY WOULD I TRY TO GET HER BACK, QUINN???'' I shout getting up from my seat and going to the window. I shake my head before facing my best friend again '' She was clear... She said she was better off without me, that we only work as friends. So that's what I did, I took my distance, all the way here in LA. I'm doing what she said and it doesn't bother me anymore ok. What hurts me is that she went behind my back! It has nothing to do with our past'' I mutter

As silence filled the room, confusion conquered my thoughts...

Was I right in letting her go? All these years I've been telling myself I was over her and I've been sleeping with all these beautiful women. But was Quinn right? Was this to cover up the immense pain that suddenly struck my chest as I stared at this simple yet elegant piece of paper in my hands?

''Nah. I'm over her. I'm definitely over her.'' I say mainly to myself but I know Quinn is listening ''If I weren't then I'd have done something about it by now. I'm not the type to not to do anything when I want something. I'm the kind who tries and fights for what she wants. Like Sam, for example. Like I really want to bang her so I'm putting the effort in for her. Ali is just my best friend. That's all.''

'' You sure?'' Quinn asks tentatively

'' Yeah, I'm sure.'' I sit back on the couch and bring my knees to my chest '' I mean is Alison the hottest girl I've been with? Yes. Is she the girl I've loved the most? Yes. Is she basically the definition of perfection? Yes. Did I once think that we would get back together eventually? Of course. But I never did anything to make that happen, which means I didn't want it as bad as I thought I did. So yeah, I'm sure. Ali is my best friend and I love her. As a friend'' I affirm

'' Well, you know I'm here for you either way'' Quinn soothes me as she snuggles into me. I wrap my arm around her and for a while we just stay like that. Both in our own little bubble, wrapped in one another. This is the side of our friendship no one really sees. To the girls, including Ali, she's the girl who fucked me up, the one who destroyed everything, the one who fucked me and Ali's relationship up. Truth is that night, the night it all changed, I hit on her, I gave her the signals, I made the moves, it's just that she leaned in first. But the thing is Quinn is so much more than what everyone thinks. She's the one who keeps me grounded. The one who still believes in me. The one who knows me better than I know myself these days. As much as I hate to admit it, Quinn knows that deep down, I'm still the girl I was at 17. If it weren't for Elliot, I probably would've fought for her more than I have. I mean it's Ali, I spent years trying to get her to love me and I never wanted to lose that. But I broke her and he saved her when I couldn't. I owed her that. I owe her her happiness, something he can clearly give her. With me, it was always gonna be messy and with the situation I'm in at the moment I wouldn't be able to provide for her. I'm glad she's found her happy ending. She's been through enough shit in her life, she deserves it.