Emison: Home

Chapter 5: Somebody That I Used To Know

HOW FUCKING HOT ARE THEY?!?!?!?!!? 

Alison's POV

She hung up on me. She said she was fine, then she lost it and now she's hung up on me. She said one of the reasons she hooked up with these girls was to get over me, possibly, maybe. She said she broke her own heart. I could see it in her eyes. It was really her. The Emily I met, the one I knew, the one that became my best friend, the one I fell in love with in high school. Just for a split second she had resurfaced. But she disappeared as fast as she appeared. She said my soon-to-be family name with such spite and hate. At who? I don't know but I'm praying it wasn't at me, she's hated me too many times before and I can never cope with it. I know we're not the same as we were and I know it'd be stupid and impossible to get that back but I didn't mean to push her away, to turn her like this.

I wished I'd called more often... I wished I'd cared more but after what happened at graduation I wasn't planning on ever talking to her again. I saw her again by accident. She was in Rosewood visiting her mum, her father hadn't yet died, and I bumped into her at the Brew... And we spoke and it was nice and that was meant to be it. But then Pam came and being the kind person she is, she invited me for dinner and I couldn't just say no. I mean that would've just been rude. And then I guess we felt some sort of mutual obligation to not lose touch again, we had been through so much together from understanding who we were to the whole A drama and the near death experiences. As much as it pained us to admit we were a huge part of each others life and you couldn't just discard someone who had had such an impact on you like that. But to me, it wasn't just that; to me,it was a sign. Back then I was waiting for signs constantly that we were going to end up together, that I would find the courage to forgive her. But I never could. And so we stayed friends and spoke every now and then when she was back in Rosewood and various events, every now and then, we'd share a short phone call. Maybe out of politeness but sometimes because I missed her voice. The change to me was never that apparent in her personality until Hanna and Caleb's wedding two years ago. During the hen-do, she hooked up with some chick in the bathroom and then at the wedding I saw her making out with one girl in the bathroom, another on the dance floor and the next day she came down for brunch at the hotel with a third one. It shocked me the most, the others seemed more aware of the situation than me. She'd betrayed her promise from graduation day. That girl could not keep a promise to save her life.

My thoughts are interrupted by a buzz notifying me of a Facebook message. I frown when I see the name but decide to open it anyways.

Quinn Fabray: Sorry about her. She seemed fine before. She's just a little upset I think. Don't worry she's coming to the wedding. She's just in shock but she'll get over it. I'll talk to her and get her to apologise because she's being a dick. Sorry, for everything.

I feel bad for Quinn. Like I hate her for being the reason I lost my Mermaid but she's tried so hard to fix it and plus I know it's hard to resist Em's charms but still. It annoys me that now she's so nice and shit but none of us can treat her decent because for most of us it's because of her that she's become like this. I know it's a shitty way to think. But my best friends are gonna take my side. But I'll give her credit for trying though. I quickly type an answer

Alison DiLaurentis: Don't worry... i should have told her... just tell her I'm sorry that it didn't turn out the way she expected, the way we expected and that I regret not telling her sooner, please. It pains me to know she's hurting because of me right now. Thanks Quinn

Emily's POV

Half an hour later and I'm still just laying on my bed. I don't why I'm feeling like this. All I know is that I am. My guts is twisted in knots worse than my earphones, my heart is clenching and my body feels numb. I don't what betrayal hurt me. A part of me wants to believe that it's the betrayal of a friend, that it's because she didn't tell me. But my heart is screaming at me that fate is the one who betrayed me, that Charles Dickens betrayed me. That Pip doesn't get Estella in the end. I keep trying to silence that part of me. Lord knows now is not the time for me to be questioning my decisions over the past five years. I shouldn't even be questioning it. Sleeping with all these girls, having a blast, being reckless, being impulsive, just thinking of the moment and not giving a shit about tomorrow. That's what my youth is meant to be and so I made it happened and I loved every second of it, every girl, every drink, every inch of their skins. It's a dream life.

'' Em... Open up, please'' Quinn pleads outside my room

I huff loudly before opening the door and then going back to my bed but instead of flopping, I sit down my head against the wall.

'' I'm sorry I lashed out... I don't know what came over me'' I admit bringing my knees into me

'' You do know and it's ok. I know it must suck'' she comes to sit next to me and grabs my hand in her own

'' But the thing is I don't feel for her anymore!''

'' Em...'' she starts

'' No! I don't have feelings for her anymore Quinn! When I started out this lifestyle okay yeah I admit maybe these girls were to forget her and it worked, clearly! What hurts, what sucks is just that she was my first love. You never get over your first love everyone knows that. Like there's always some obvious attachment without there necessarily being feelings! Like I just remembered those 6 months we had together, the invite just reminded me of how once we'd planned our wedding and it just brought back so many memories. And those memories brought back everything from when I first realised I loved her to prom night when I saw I had lost her.''

'' I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed, Emily.'' she apologises

'' It's not your fault'' I pause '' It's mine'' I whisper and kiss her temple lightly and she just snuggles into my arms

I gotta love Quinn for that. She knows just what to do. She knows that when I'm sad, I need to be held. But when I'm angry or frustrated, I need to be the one to hold someone, it gives me a sense of control and it grounds me. So we just sit there, waiting for my heart beat to even out with my breathing. It takes a few minutes of silence for Quinn to speak up.

'' I think you should apologise'' she says barely above a whisper. I tense a little and she definitely feels it as she continues and draws soothing circles on my hands '' Hear me out. She feels like shit for it Emmy, she hates that she hurt you, she regrets not telling you sooner. She knows how much trust is important to you and she said something else but it was weird...'' I look at her sideways encouraging her to go on '' She said she's sorry it didn't turn out the way you expected, the way either of you expected''

I gulp loudly and pull Quinn closer to me and rest my cheek on top of her head that is leaning against my shoulder, she's curled up by my side.

'' Thank you for telling me'' I murmur '' I'll call her tomorrow and apologise and tell her I'm coming but only if you're my plus one.''

'' No! Emily! That's a terrible idea! Your friends don't like me and I don't think I'll be welcomed'' she protests pulling away from me

'' I don't care what they think Quinn... You're my best friend too and they need to understand that. Plus I'm gonna need someone to stop me from doing something stupid.''

'' Em. I can't'' she whines

'' Fine then I'm not going.'' I grouch folding my arms across my chess

'' Emilyyyy'' she warns me '' You can't do that.''

'' No. I'm not going without you'' I sit there

'' I hate you you know that right'' she exasperates her shoulders slouching

'' Thank you! You're a life saver!'' I give her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek as we fall back onto my bed

'' Uh huh, you bet I am...'' she laughs pushing me off her '' So pizza and a movie?''

'' You know me oh-so-well!'' I smile at her

A/N

I'm soooo soooo soooo sorry about this late update... Ive had some regular teen drama in my life over the past month and it's kinda affected my creativity but I'm getting back on track! I know the general direction of this story but when it comes to individual chapters I struggle a little more

SORRY AGAIN! 

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Have a good day! / Goodnight!

xxx -C