Blurryface

Him

The voices keep getting louder, harder to ignore. Simple things are becoming chores for me, I can hardly focus enough to watch tv. Instead of following the storyline of a show I've seen a million times before, all I can hear is that menacing voice in my head. Try as I might, I can't find anything that shuts him up.

How do you expect to find a way to shut me up when I can hear everything you're thinking?

I groaned, bringing my knees up to my chest. I watched aimlessly as the characters moved across the bright screen, listening to the nonsense in my head.

He's just trying to get to you. You know that, right?

I nodded my head slowly, barely moving it. With my little sister sitting right beside me, I didn't want to be vocal and scare her. She's barely old enough to understand what's going on. I wish I could say it was just the one voice that I hear, but I'd never be that lucky. Three total, and never an ounce of silence.

Why do you let him get under your skin like that then?

"Not like I have much of a choice," I mumbled under my breath. Maddy shifted her focus to me, but once I met her gaze, she quickly looked away. I could tell she was nervous, but I couldn't be the one to comfort her. Not when she's this scared of me.

Despite how young she is, mom and dad have tried their best to explain my "condition" to her in a way she would understand. But how are you supposed to explain DID and schizophrenia to an twelve year old? 'Hey sweetie, your brother sometimes isn't your brother, and he's basically insane. Hope that doesn't affect your relationship!' I feel bad for her. All my siblings, really.

I wasn't even explicitly told it's DID- I overheard mom and dad telling a teacher. They won't even tell me what my own conditions are. Its complete bull. But according to them, one of the voices I hear is actually a second personality. My siblings have backed them up on this, saying I'll "zone out" and "switch".
I don't really understand how it works, other than I black out sometimes and wake up completely confused. I don't even know if I believe them; it might make sense, but when the doctor hasn't even flat out told me, I find it hard to buy.

It makes sense, yet you still don't believe it? Are you actually that stupid? Who's to say I'm not a separate personality? Or, maybe I'm the host, and you're the other personality.

I rolled my eyes.

Don't like it when I'm right, huh?

"Five minutes, all I ask is five minutes of silence." I said monotonously.

Awe, look who thinks he runs the place!

I stood from the couch, avoiding Maddy's eyes as I headed for the stairs.

"Ty," She started, sounding genuinely concerned, but I just shook my head and wandered up the stairs. This isn't something she should have to worry about.

Once in my room, I fell back on my bed, pulling a pillow over my face, almost wishing that would dampen the noise. Even when they aren't specifically talking to me, there's always an overwhelming amount of indistinct chatter that I can hear, but can never make out. It's like muffled voices all trying to speak over each other; one's I'll only ever hear if I'm having an episode.

Ty, Ty, Ty!

The voice mimicked my sister's calls, attempting to make me feel more guilty about the situation. Somehow his voice is the only clear one to stick out, even the other two are still slightly muffled when they talk.