Blurryface

Thoughts

Tyler's POV

It seemed like the only thing I was able to do anymore was stare ahead, lost in my thoughts. Well, the thoughts I could hear at least. Almost everything I heard in my head was still muffled and very distant. Blurryface was still able to find ways to get through what seemed like a mist that was blocking everything out though.

I always knew the only thing you were good for was being useless, you stupid waste of space.

I couldn't even find enough energy to tell Blurry off. I felt so weak and helpless.

That's cause you are.

I wanted to tell him to quit, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. I wanted to blame it all on Blurryface, but I didn't think this was his fault. For once, I don't think Blurry did anything wrong.

Thanks?

It feels weird saying that since these kinds of things were usually his fault.

Yeah, they are and I'm damn proud of that.

A nurse walked into the room, taking me away from my thoughts and Blurryface's stupid remarks.
"Hey, Tyler. Feeling any better?" The nurse asked. She's one of the nurses I've had before. She usually ends up being my nurse when I come here. Her name, if I remember right, is Brenda.

It took almost all my energy to shrug and glance towards her.

"Thought so. Your friends that came by earlier said you were talking to them?"

I gave a small nod.

"That's great! I'll tell the doctor next time I see him. You know, if you keep talking we'll be able to get you out of here sooner."

That's what everybody's been saying. I'd be talking more if it didn't take so much energy. Just the little bit of talking I did with Jenna and Josh earlier made me the tiredest I've ever been. I nodded again in response to Brenda, hoping she'd leave soon. I just wanted to sleep.

"I can tell you want to sleep, so I'll leave. But before I do, can you please say something so we can have someone other than your friends saying it happened?"

I shrugged. I didn't have much energy left to try talking again, but if it would get Brenda out of here faster, then I'd try.

It took almost every little bit of what I had left to ask, "Can I have some water please?" I barely spoke louder than a whisper and my words were slurred together, but Brenda seemed to understand what I said.

A grin spread across her face. "Sure, I'll be right back!" She excitedly left the room and came back a few seconds later to say, "Thank you, Tyler."

I flashed a small smile and gave a weak nod. With that, Brenda left to get the water for me. This whole thing was so exhausting! I wish the doctors would just hurry up and tell us what's wrong so I could leave! It didn't seem like they'd get there any time soon, though.

The doctors told me its the meds, but if it is, you'd think they'd have already figured out which one it was from reading the side effects or looking at other people that have had reactions to them. I would ask the doctors that if I had the energy to talk to them.

Brenda came back with the water which pulled me out of my thoughts again.

"There you go. Need anything else while I'm here?" She said, setting the water on the table beside me.

I gently shook my head and flashed another small smile.

"Alright, I'll let you get some sleep now." She smiled and left.

Finally. I'd been wanting to get some sleep all day, but people just kept coming in. Not that I have a problem with my family, Jenna or Josh coming in to say hi or checking up on me, but the doctors and nurses were really starting to annoy me.

You annoy me.

I rolled my eyes and tried blocking Blurry out so I could sleep.

Sleep is for people that have something to wake up to. What do you have to wake up to? More doctors? More people feeling sorry for you?

I wanted to tell him to shut up. I wanted to him shut up. I wanted to say he was wrong. But I knew he was right. I have nothing to wake up to other than more doctors and nurses trying to do whatever. There's nothing to look forward to while I'm here. The only thing I could really look forward to while I was here would be leaving.

If you ever get out of here.

Why did he have to keep pointing these things out to me? Why did he only point these out at night? Blurry's the reason I hardly get any sleep! Its all his fault. I'm so tired of him!

I'm not very fond of you, either.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." I mumbled.

Talking now? Thought you were too drained to do anything?

"I am."

Then why are you talking?

"Cause someone needs to tell you to shut up."

Why's it gotta be you?

"Cause I'm the only one that can hear you!" I sat up and started talking louder. My words weren't slurred anymore and it wasn't taking as much energy to move or speak anymore.

Wow you must be a wizard.

"Shut up!"

Why would I do that?

I groaned and put my head in my hands. "Why do you keep talking?"

Why do you keep talking?

"I already told you!"

Yeah, but I don't want to shut up. And who said you can make me?

"Blurry I swear if you don't shut up-" I was cut off by the door opening and mom walking in.

"Hey," She said softly, walking over to my bed. "everything okay? I heard you yelling."

When mom came in, Blurry was silent. It was nice to not hear him for once. "I'm okay now."

"What was that all about?"

"Blurryface wouldn't shut up."

She nodded. "You're talking a lot more. Not as big of a hassle to talk now?"

"Doesn't seem to be."

"That's good." She smiled. "You should try getting some sleep now, sweetheart."

"I'll try, mom."

She gave me a quick hug and then went back to wherever she was before. I rolled over and tried falling asleep again, hoping Blurry would stay quiet this time.