The Life Of A Veterans Wife.

The pregnancy alone.

Going to the next ultrasound without Raymond was hard. He was missing everything while being deployed overseas. All the doctor visits and all the ultrasounds. I was lonely without him.

The ultrasound went good they only saw just two babies which means twins. I was happy and scared at the same time. After telling everyone of the news I was set at being content with the pregnancy. I did everything the doctors told me to do. Raymond tried to call more often now knowing I was pregnant and pretty much alone other than having my mom here and a few friends.

I had asked the doctor now that I was seeing him which he delivered Julian if I could have Raymond call the next visit and have the phone on speaker phone so Raymond could hear the babies heart beats over the phone. He agreed to let me do that.

Raymond was excited the next call. I told him of when my next appointment was so he could make special trip to the phone's to call. He had to get permission to call at that time. Which he was granted.

My next doctor visit Raymond called as promised and I had my cellular phone on speaker so he could hear. The doctor turned up the sound on the machine to full so he could hear their heart beats. He did twin A's heart beat first and then he did twin B's heart beat. Raymond cried because he was so happy. He asked the doctor a ton of questions and then he had to go.

Later that day after I was home and resting Raymond called again surprising me. We talked about baby names for the twins. If they were boys or girls or one of each. We hit walls with certain names. Because I would like a name but he wouldn't. After our call ended I basically rested up as per the doctors orders.

My next visit to the doctor was coming up in about three weeks so I wanted t o be prepaired. I was about four and half months along by my next appointment and I was excited to see the babies again via ultrasound. The tech greeted me like usual and I la yes on the bed with my shirt pulled up and my jeans rolled down so that she could put that goop on my tummy.

She had the screen faced away from me measuring and looking to see how the babies were progressing. She began to look tense and a concerned look fell upon her face. She excused herself and went to get the doctor and he came in looking and scanning and listening. He clicked the machine off and asked me to get myself cleaned up and meet him in his office.

I did and asked why the long face when he came and sat beside me in the other office chair next to me. He never did that before. He took my hand another thing he never did before and told me that twin B's heart had stopped beating. He told me my baby was gone. He told me that we had to run labs and more testing to find out why the twin B's heart had stopped at four and half months. I was devastated and began to cry. I asked about twin A's life and he assured me twin A was doing well. He explained after all tests were ran that the twins had what was called twin to twin transfusion. Twin A was feeding off twin B and taking most of the nutrients that twin B needed to survive that's why twin B didn't survive the babies heart beat could handle to lack of nutrients and it's heart had failed. He then told me we needed to keep the baby in there to help twin A survive. I was scared and depressed.

He assured me he would closely monitor both me and twin A so that no harm would come to either of us and if he felt there was danger he would deliver twin A immediately. He gave me orders and I followed them to the T. Every week I was going for scans and being placed on monitors to track twin A's fluid levels and heart rate. Also tests were ran every other week to test the toxic levels in my amniotic fluid to make sure twin B wasn't causing extreme toxic levels from its passing and possibly killing twin A. I guess I have explained it right.

Each passing week I lived with knowing twin B was gone but hopeful twin A would survive. I learned the sexes at five and half months pregnant. Twin A was a girl and my little one who passed was a boy. Raymond was due to be home and I never told him of twin B's situation.

He knew twin B was gone and twin A was left. But what he didn't know was twin B was still in me to keep twin A alive. We decided on a name for our baby girl her name is Jessica. Raymond finally arrived home when I was six and half months pregnant.