The Life Of A Veterans Wife.

Months later

Jessica was about few months old when we moved to a bigger place in town. We had a nice 3 bedroom brick home. During the time we lived there we watched Jessica and Julian grow. Jessica was learning to crawl and roll over. She is a happy and healthy baby.

Raymond learnt he would be deployed yet again. The relization hit him he wold be missing out on several key moments in Jessica's life. He became distant. Our lease at the house was about up and the landlord drops a bomb on ys tat he's selling and gave us two weeks to get out.

I suggested to Raymond we move on to the base. I would  feel safer there while he was deployed. He agreed and we went to the housing and got into a two bedroom quickly. After moving Raymond became even more distant. The verbal altercations began.

I fought for his attention, his affection and his love. He ignored me and wouldnt even look at me. He would play video games all the times he wasnt at work. He wouldn't take me any where or even touch me intimately let alone us not having sex.

Deployments were hard on families. Soldiers would mentally prepared them selves for thier departure by distancing them selves from their families. Raymond was doing that. His nightmares had came back full swing. He would wake up and not be himself. He would wake me up at times by flinging me to the floor screaming. There were times he even woke me punching me or choking me.

When I would at him it was like he was awake but he blacked out not actually be sleeping he would be awake. He would have this death glare in his eyes.  I would bring him out every time and he would get back in bed and sleep like nothing happened.

The abuse continued this way til he left. I would be afraid to sleep at night because I would feel afraid of him. I knew it wasnt my Raymond under that dark glare in his eyes when he would beat me. I would hide bruises all the time.

His deployment was for 15 months this go round. I lived on the base and was the doting wife and mother. A short while later a three bedroom apartment came open. I moved out the two bedroom on my own with the kids.

Raymond still had several months to go before he was due home from deployment. He did come home on R&R and it was really bad then. The abuse resumed and it lasted til he left. I would ask him the next day did he remember anything from the night and he would say no. I didnt mention his abuse to him that he had done to me. I did however beg him to seek help for his issues that he maybe having from beimg deployed so much. He acted like he was fine and didnt need help. I stayed because I loved my husband and knew if I could get him help he would  come back to me as the man I married and fell madly in love with.

Vowd are important right. For better or worse through sickness and in health til death do part. Raymond went back and thing spiraled from there. He cheated emotionally and probably physically on me with women he would tell me about while beimg deployed. I had access to his email and his myspace at the time and could see the things he would say to these women....it broke me. But I suggested the one thing I didnt want but knew it was the best offer. I suggested he do his thing and come home to me free and clear of those women. That i woupd over look his indescrepencies and love hik no matter what....