Letters to Matt

To my Baby Girl, when you experience your first big heartbreak,

My love,

I'm writing you this letter at the age of 18. My long time, and first, boyfriend has recently broken up with me.

Unfortunately, this is the third time. Who does that to a girl?! Each time he regrets it, but even though it hurts, I've decided...for now anyways...that this is the last chance I'll give him.

I loved him with every bit of me. So much so, that I thought I could marry him; if he didn't have such a fear of starting a life and messing up. Who knows, I'm only 18...maybe this boy has grown into a man and you call him dad! But, unfortunately for my broken heart, that's probably not the case...

I'm writing this now, so that later in life, when you go through something like this, you'll know that your old mother went through it too... I know it's probably (hopefully) hard to believe it, but I had my fair share of it. It takes a while to get over it; to finally get out of bed (or the couch like it was for me), and to finally eat a full, decent, meal; but you'll get there. I know you will!

When my boyfriend broke up with me the first time...well it lasted an hour. But it was still horrible! I was visiting a college and my mom and dad (your grandparents) were out of town! I think we were just testing the waters. The second time was literally 2 DAYS BEFORE NEW YEARS! I was on his island, and he had been making poor choices and mistook my discomfort as jealousy. So, New Years Eve rolls around, and I'm finally in my bed...waiting pitifully for a text or call...while he kissed someone else at a party. He told me about it later, which made me sad that it happened, but happy that he was finally being truthful. Apparently this girl couldn't hold her liquor and had been throwing up all night, and at 12, he was waiting for a text or call from me... but he was watching over him and she kissed him, and he kissed back; but she automatically started barfing again after! So it hurt his ego, and his mouth now tasted like vomit. Thank you, God!

This time, the break up came out of the blue... I still don't understand it... I've tried to convince myself that he's being selfless in a very selfish manner; but at this point, I don't know... He told me over text, after I got off a plane... So a lot of my packed clothes are actually his... Thanks... It's hard, being on vacation and wanting to cry and mope, but not finding the time. The worst part for me was that it was just me and your Uncle Dre. So I felt I couldn't cry... I had to prove I was stable for him... Mom is finally with us, and dad, but I haven't cried. I've only cried once; I did most of my crying at the New Years break up. But I'm sick to my stomach, confused, miserable (but trying to put on a happy face), and now I'm just emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. And it sucks.

Tell you what Grandma Missy told me, though... There's a curse on all the men that break the hearts of Coffelt/Bump girls; all those men become fat and bald. Those just so happen to be two things this guy is terrified of! Jackpot!! I don't know if that curse has continued at this point. Ask me now, though, and I'll have an answer. Just ask me how "Matt" turned out. Unless he's your father by some miracle. Then I'll be asking you.

Keep your head up, babydoll; that boy don't know what he's missing. He'll live to regret it. He don't know that, but you and I do.

Love you always,

Mom