Hiccstrid Oneshots

21- God parents.

"Hiccup, no!" Astrid exclaimed in annoyance. She charged forwards away from her husband whom was straggling behind. 

"Astrid, please it's only for one night!" Hiccup begged, picking up his pace to a jog so he could catch up. Astrid skidded to a halt, the twenty four year old spun on her heel to face Hiccup, her braid swung wildly over her shoulder. 

"One night is enough for that child to wreck our house!" Astrid burst. Hiccup placed his hands on his hips, inhaled sharply trying to regain composure and stared at Astrid deep in her ocean blue eyes. Oh Hiccup had really managed to tick her off this time! Ruffnut and her husband Snotlout were going to be on a scouting mission of some islands just out of the archipelago for a single night and had no one to watch their son, so as the godfather of said son, Hiccup offered that he and Astrid could take care of the little rascal. After the last time they took on board their God parenting duties, Astrid swore she'd never be able to tolerate the child for another night.

"Astrid, please, we're his god parents plus there was no one else willing to take the job." Hiccup explained. 

"Why do you think that is?!" She snapped. Hiccup sighed and shook his head, his shaggy auburn hair fell across his forehead. 

"I get the feeling you don't like children that much." Hiccup grunted. Astrid's eyebrows raised and she folded her arms across her chest. 

"Oh I love kids, just not that one, he is the mortal form of Loki." 

"One night? I beg of you, I'll look after the kid the whole time." 

"You better make this up to me, Haddock." Astrid growled before stomping away. Hiccup released a huge sigh of relief, his hands dropped from his hips. 

"Thank you Milady, love you!" Hiccup called after her with a light chuckle to his tone. 

"Whatever!" Astrid yelled back. 

---

That evening, Hiccup returned home with a three year old Tarben Jorgenson in his arms, wrapped in furs ready to sleep. Astrid was sitting in her husband's arm chair knitting as he walked in, their eyes met and then hers trailed down to the child. She gave him a weak smile and the toddler burst into sleepy giggles. 

"Asty!" Tarben squealed. Ever since Tarben had called Astrid 'Asty' for the first time, Snotlout had always teased her with the name, but she used it as an opportunity to punch the mutton head. 

"Hey Tarben." Astrid greeted softly. She rose from her seat and wandered over to her husband and her god child. Tarben reached out with his chubby little arms and Astrid lifted him from Hiccup. "How you doing, pal?" She asked, holding the child upon her hip. 

"OK! Mommy and daddy are busy." Tarben explained, his little face was serious and his plump cheeks wobbled as he spoke. 

"That's why you're having a sleep over here!" Hiccup cooed. "And you should probably get to sleep soon." Hiccup reminded the young child. The boy nodded and rested his head against Astrid's chest, he shoved a stubby thumb into his mouth and he clutched a Hideous Zippleback toy to his chest (Awfully knitted by Ruffnut). Gently, Astrid carried the boy upstairs to the spare room in their hut. She placed Tarben on the empty bed and tucked him into the furs. 

"Goodnight, Tarben!" She whispered softly before tiptoeing out of the room, leaving the door open just a fraction. As soon as she made it down the stairs to where Hiccup was now sitting in his chair sketching, she released a huge sigh of relief. "Phew! Nothing broken yet!" She squeaked. Hiccup chuckled lightly to himself. 

"Tarben isn't that bad." He reassured, not taking his eyes away from the sketch. 

"Oh yeah? You weren't here last time I had to look after the kid..." Astrid grunted, taking her place in the seat opposite Hiccup. 

"Well then, let's hope he sleeps through the night!" Hiccup mused. 

---

Early the next morning, Hiccup awoke to the sound of a crash downstairs. His head whipped around to Astrid's side of the bed but she was no where to be seen. Quickly, he swung his legs out of bed, attached his metal peg leg before pulling on an old tunic and rushing down the wooden stairs. 

There in the kitchen stood Astrid, covered in Yak milk from head to toe, Tarben was waddling away with a wooden spoon in hand. 

"I told you...he was a...reincarnation of Loki!" Astrid heaved, shaking her arms so Yak milk would be flung at Hiccup. He winced at the ferocious look on his wife's face, even Odin himself would cower to that glare. 

"Uh, you did happen to mention that. You get cleaned up, I'll sort out Tarben." Hiccup muttered. Just as Astrid was about to ascend the stairs, their was an almighty 'clunk' from the living room, followed by Toothless' distressed roar. "Oh gods!" Hiccup exclaimed. He sprinted into the living room to find Tarben situated on Toothless' tail, pulling at his real fin. The dragon did not look pleased at all. 

"Tooth, Tooth!" Tarben giggled excitedly. 

"Tarben, no! Toothless doesn't like that!" Hiccup warned, quickly, lifting the boy off of the Night Fury's tail. Hiccup set Tarben down on his armchair and turned to Toothless whom was grumbling in annoyance. Whilst the chief was distracted with his dragon, Tarben crawled off the chair and pattered towards the front door. He stopped just as he was about to grasp hold of the metal door knob, something else had sparked the child's interest. 

Hiccup's Inferno was mounted beside the door so he could have easy access on the way out of the hut. Greedily, Tarben clambered onto a nearby bucket and reached up for the shiny weapon, oblivious to how much destruction the object could cause. After a struggle, the toddler finally had a hold of the Inferno and now was stabbing against the buttons with his chubby little fingers. 

Astrid, now clean and Yak milk free, hopped down the stairs, straightening out her skirt, glanced up and almost screamed in horror. 

Tarben ran through into the kitchen squealing in delight with a flaming Inferno in hand. 

"HICCUP!" Astrid shrieked as she skidded into the kitchen. Behind she could hear her husband's footsteps approaching, however Astrid's attention was now focused on her kitchen that was clouded with Hideous Zippleback gas. 

"Barf, Belch!" Tarben giggled somewhere inside. 

"NOOO!" Hiccup boomed, running into the kitchen. Swiftly, he scooped the child up and ripped the Inferno from his pump hands before he had the chance to blow up the house. 

"What in Thor's name is he doing with the Inferno?!" Astrid screeched, pointing to Tarben who was now fiddling with the braids in Hiccup's hair. 

"Odin knows Astrid?! We're taking him home, now!" Hiccup snapped. So, the three of them bustled out of the Haddock house, coughing from the Zippleback gas and made their short way to Ruffnut and Snotlout's house. Rapidly, Astrid pounded her fist against the door until a confused Snotlout opened the door. 

"Hey little man!" He grinned as he saw his son. Tarben reached out for his father and Hiccup gladly handed the toddler over. "How was he?" Snotlout asked, a smile still present on his face. 

"He has inherited everything unholy from YOU and Ruff!" Astrid jeered. "Now if you don't mind, we are going home to enjoy a PEACEFUL weekend!" Astrid yelled. With that, she grabbed hold of Hiccup's hand and dragged him away. 

Tarben waved merrily in his godparent's direction and Snotlout stood there, completely dazed. 

"So you had fun then?" He chuckled to his son.