Salvation {Negan FanFic}

N I N E T E E N

I just laid there, not closing  my eyes, not sleeping because I was wide awake. I laid there thinking about the people in Alexandria, and my group and family. I wondered what they were doing and what they were feeling, or if they were safe and ok. I thought about Maggie and her baby and if she was ok without Glenn. I thought about Daryl and wondered if he thought about me. I could imagine him being pissed at me for not being there, even if its not my fault he would make it my fault; but he would secretly be happy to see me if he did get to. He probably didn't even love me anymore. Why would e? I'm not there and most likely I won't even be there.

I listened to the soft snores of Negan sleeping beside me with my body pulled into his. I was having mixed feelings at this point. Negan was mental and really has some issues he needed to work out. He scared me and I feel like I always have to tiptoe around him when I speak or do anything. Hated him for what he has done; killing Glenn, all those women, putting my group and Alexandria through hell,  making me stay here with him, having his men beat me for answers. I can't think of one good thing that he as done for me or to me. But, for some reason even if there was no good to him, I felt like I could maybe bring it out of him.

He showed me he could be caring and could think of others, quite a few times actually. Such as when he made me stay in the RV when he...did what he did to Glenn. And when he killed those women. I mean, both of those things are terrible but they had a good side to them...kind of.

But I can't stay here to wait and see what else Negan does. I can't help him even if I wanted to, which I do. I have to escape and I have to get back to Alexandria. I didn't know any ways of doing that though.

I stopped and thought and something popped into my head. Thinking of all the killings Negan has done in this past week gave me a sickening idea, but I couldn't think of anything else.

I was going to kill Negan.