Salvation {Negan FanFic}

F I F T Y T W O

He carried me through the woods with a flashlight in his mouth for a while. The walk seemed long, but I just cried. I was feeling a lot of different emotions at that moment. There wasn't one set reason for me crying so much. I was in pain, I was frightened, my nerves were shot, I was scared to see what Negan would d.

He would just tell me not to do it again...right? That's what he always does. Yells at me, hugs me harshly, and cuddles me like he also is strangling me and we fall asleep to wake up and do it all again. That's how is always been.

We got to the gravel road that led to the compound; that's what made me realize how far away I wondered away. He brought me to his truck, setting me down gently, yet quickly in the bed of the truck on the tailgate. I flinched in pain, my thighs already being bruised up and down. I sniffled, hiccupping and wiping tears away only to be replaced by more.

He paced back and forth, running a hand through his hair and over his mouth. By his expression I could tell he was thinking.

"Just stop fucking crying! Why are you- why are you even crying- Jesus Christ!" He was yelled and stumbling over his words. "Always crying, non. stop. Its okay not to cry over something!" He yelled.

I think he was just yelling to yell now...typical Negan.

"Because, I don't want you to-" I cried, but didn't get to finish.

"What? Piss me off? Oh, baby," He laughed, shaking his head. "We're past that."

I looked down, feeling my heartbeat pace pick up. It was different this time.

He paced a little more, shaking his head. He then stopped, looking at me for a moment, and smiled. Not a sarcastic smile, yet it wasn't a nice smile. It was just scary.

"I love you." He said.

Shit. I wasn't expecting that.

"But...this is it, Kit." He said. "You have a choice, and its all up to you. What do you want." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

I was confused and thrown off by this. I didn't know what he was asking.

"Wha-what do you mean?" I stuttered.

"Exactly what I said, what. do. you. want." He snapped. "As in, stay here or go get treated like shit with all of your family in that dump over there."

I didn't say anything, just looked at him. Was he being serious? Was he letting me choose.

"Go on, what do you fucking want? This is the moment you've been waiting for Kit-Kat... the moment  you get to choose where you go. You wanted this so badly. So, what'll it be? Here or there. We can hop in the truck and go right now." He spat.

I couldn't speak. Was he really letting me choose? Would he really let me go? Do I really want to go? I mean, I shouldn't even be second guessing myself. I've been messing around enough. I am going to end up dead, and I need to go home. Its time.

But I don't want to go. I want to be here with him. I can't imagine not sleeping with him, hearing him yell at me with sarcasm, or cuddle me with anger at night. Everything I had with Daryl or anyone in Alexandria seemed to be gone.

I looked at him, anger was his expression but sadness was is in his eyes.

I could change a lot in this moment.