Salvation {Negan FanFic}

t w e n t y t w o

I'm searching for something that I can't reach. I don't like them innocent, I don't want no face flesh, want them wearing leather, begging let me be your taste test. I like the sad eyes, bad guys, mouth full of white lies. You say that you're no good for me, cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve. And I swear, I hate you when you leave, but I like it anyway. (Ghost by Halsey)

Walking back to the trucks with Negan was painful. He had an arm around my shoulders. I tried to pull away but he pulled me closer to his side, slightly rubbing my back. I would have thought of it as comforting, but nothing was able to comfort me right now. Without saying anything I walked, not fighting with him, keeping my head down so no one saw I was crying.

When we got to the truck, I went to open up the door, and Negan slammed it shut, keepin his hand on the door.

"I'm sorry..." He sad after a long silence.

I couldn't look at him. "No...you're not..." I sniffed.

"Yes I fucking am." He snapped. "Look at me when I fucking look at you." He said, grabbing my chin, making me look up at him. "What do you want me to do, Kit....huh? I have my hands tied, I can't let you fucking stay here, and I can't fucking watch you cry...so tell me what you want me to fucking do?"

I shook him away, stepping back, wiping tears off my cheeks only to be replaced with more. "I want you to stop hurting me! You are taking my family away from me, leaving me with nothing...I have nothing now."

He took his hand off of the door, gripping Lucille. "You...have me." He mumbled so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

I shook my head, starting to cry again. "I- I don' want you, Negan." I squeaked out.

He looked down at me with a blank expression for a long time, not saying anything. He then stomped over to the driver seat, getting into the car, starting it up. I just stared at him.

"Get in the fucking truck!" He yelled through the window.

I pissed him off...

I hesitated before opening up the passenger side door, and climbing in.

"Pouting gets you no where." I mumbled to myself.

I didn't mean for him to hear that, but maybe I shouldn't have even opened my mouth. His head snapped in my direction. Instead of driving, he turned and faced me.

"You know, I have been treating you fucking good these last few days. I don't know where you get off thinking you can get all sassy with me like you're some big fucking shot but you're not! I've about had it with you and you're smart ass mouth. You think my men can talk like that to me? Or my wives? Hell no. So I will straighten you out if I fucking have to. So you better watch that pretty mouth of yours." I let him talk, but I wasn't really listening. "What is your problem all of a sudden? One moment you're completely fine and then the next your a wise ass..." He grumbled, gripping the steering wheel, starting to drive.

I heard that part.

"M problem? I'm back and forth? What the- Negan, you are the one that is back and forth, ask anyone! One minute you act like a normal human being and then next thing I know you act like nothing has happened between us- you are psycho!"

I was scared to argue with him while he as driving. He was a bad driver as is.

"Psft...nothing has happened between us."

"You are such a liar! You know that's not true..." I said. "Your wives...why did you go crazy and kill them? Why did you say you wanted to kiss all of my tears away? Or that you couldn't even be in the room while you had your men beat me let alone d it yourself?!-"

Negan spun the car around, pulling it to the side of the road.

"You know what?-" He was cut of by his walkie-talkie going off with people asking if they needed to pull over. "Go ahead." He said into it, shutting it off. "...I admit to saying all of that, but so fucking what?" He chuckled. "What if I did say all of that shit."

"...doesn't that mean anything to you?" He didn't say anything. "You know, normal people would call that love-"

"Whoa, haha, no, no...love is a fucking lie. The reason I haven't said that to you is because I don't want to lie to you, sweetheart, and I don't have fucking time to deal with that shit."

"What? Too busy taking lives and tearing people apart!?" I shouted, jumping out of the car, and started walking down the road.

I mean, that wasn't probably the smartest thing to do...I just didn't know what else to do.

"Hey!" I head Negan shout, and a door slamming. I heard his fast footsteps coming up behind me. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?!"

I spun around on my heels, walking backwards. "Stop me then, Negan...isn't real then shoot me! Hold a gun up at me!" I yelled, holding my arms out. "Prove it to m- enlighten me."

I could see the rage in his eyes from where I stood he clenched his fists, and only looked in my direction. Honestly, I didn't know he even carried a gun. I didn't see Negan as a gun type of person; what with Lucille...

I waited with arms open, feeling my heart beat going crazy inside of my chest. I had faith in him though...surprisingly enough. I would expect to be preparing for death and saying my prayers but no. I wasn't freaking out (too much anyway). I kept my eyes forward as well, looking right at him. He took something out of his belt, when I looked down to see what it was, I saw a small hand gun in his hand.

He gripped it tightly in his hand, his knuckles turning white. Never once did he raise it or lift it above from where it was by his side. To my surprise he threw it to the ground, causing me to jump.

I knew it.

He started walking over to me, I backed up, scared of what he was going to do. Before I could get far enough away from him, grabbed my face with both hands. "God, I fucking hate you." He grumbled.

And with that, his lips harshly met mine. I didn't push him away or struggle. I just stood there, eyes wide with shock. I just let it happen; you would expect if Negan kissed someone they would push him away and run away screaming...but I didn't feel like running away at all.

My shoulders dropped, closing my eyes, savoring the tender kiss. Thinking back to this makes me want to slap myself in the face, but I kissed him back. I was so happy, and so tired, and so drained that I started to cry more, tears still slipping down my cheeks...and just a tip for all of you people who have never kissed anyone, don't cry while kissing someone. Its just a mess, and sends off mixed signals.

He pulled away slightly, our noses touching has he pressed his forehead to mine. We both breathed heavily.

"I will make sure you see them again." He said quietly. He pressed another soft kiss on my lips. "Alright?"

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Whoa...a lot just happened. Whoops. You all know the drill. Thankies!