Salvation {Negan FanFic}

T H I R T Y N I N E

Everyone knows the saying the bad out ways the good. I mean, its not really a saying, its more of just how people's brains work. A lot of the time that's how people are raised and when you're young you can't help that. And as we grow up our bad things turn into worse things. What you thought was bad when you were thirteen wasn't nearly as bad as what your bad is now. I mean, I used to think the world was ending when the wings on my eyeliner were uneven...now the world really is ending. But, my point is, our bad is always growing and seems to be getting worse; and really does.

Not even that long ago I thought my bad was having abed to go to at night, had people o protect me and people for me to protect who care about, I had food and running water, I had electricity...now looking at where I am now, I had it made back at Alexandria

I'm not choosing to be here, trust me. I don't want to be stuck deciding between my family and Negan. I sure as hell don't want to be falling in love with him, but honestly, I can. Not. Stop. I have argued and argued and have gotten pissed with myself and so frustrated and have tried so hard to get my mind to go against what my heart is saying. Its not happening.

I see Negan differently then others do. I know that. A lot of people would call me terrible, and insane and say it is all lust when I say I love Negan, but its none of that. When I see Negan I see someone with a story that doesn't have a voice to be explained. He has things he wants to say, and wants to do, I can see it in his actions. He holds back on a lot of things, and I want to make him feel like he doesn't have to...I mean, on some things he really should hold back on like, I don't know *cough, cough* Killing...ya know.

I love Negan, but I have to choose whether I want to help my family and people I care about or keep myself safe. I made a small plan in my head and that plan consists of some killing and some running.