The Bad Boy's Secret

~Chapter thirty eight~*

🖤~🥀~💋
Mourning has a pace and
a rhythm of its own.
It cannot be rushed.

-Unknown.
💋~🥀~🖤

Whilst staring back at my bleak reflection consisting of satin lace and subtle make-up, I can't help but think about my own Mother's funeral and the strange feelings that awful day brought. Black is such a dark, depressing colour yet I often find it holds a sense of class and elegance when worn by a large group of people at the same time. For instance, at funereals.

"You ready, kiddo?" asks Dad, suddenly appearing at my side, wearing his own razor sharp suit.

With the effort having been made to gel his hair across to one side, he looks rather dashing and even if instructed to do so by Hannah, the fact that he's tried really does count for something. Jane was a huge presence in our life, making today not only hard for him but for the entire family and I can only imagine Hannah wants to see her close friend off in the best possible way.

Anna has offered to stay behind to look after Emily and April, seeing as they're both too young to attend a funeral, though with the way both have been acting lately, you wouldn't think it. Emily has done nothing but stress her need to spend more time with her best friend in her hour of need and April has certainly stepped up to the Motherly role within the Richards household. At the tender age of four, she's showed extreme maturity and is often checking up on the others. It's sweet that she feels the need to Mother them in the absence of a womanly figure, though with Hayley around, I doubt she'll lack an actual female role model growing up.

"I'm ready." I reply, nervously offering him a slow and calculated nod.

I'm anything but.

Shooting me an encouraging smile in response, he suddenly pulls on my arm and positions my body in front of his, seemingly having something important to say.

"I'm here for you today, okay?" he ensures, hazel eyes blazing into my own, much similar ones. "Not just today but every day. I'm so proud of you and your sister. You're both extraordinary girls and I can't tell you how amazed I am by the strength you've both displayed this last few months. Losing your Mom, moving out here; it can't have been easy and not only have you managed that, but you've created such great lives for yourselves here."

His big hand comes up to lovingly rest on my cheek, capturing a fallen tear I hadn't realised had started its descent.

"Aidan worships the ground you walk on and I'm so proud seeing how you're both helping each other get through this difficult time," he admits, offering me a huge smile. "I love you sweetheart. I've always loved you. From the second I held you in my arms and you cried because I was too young and stupid to realise I was holding you wrong."

He pauses to let slip a small laugh, as if transported back in time to that exact moment.

"Did I really cry?" I laugh, enjoying this small insight into my past.

"Like a champ. Your Mom had to take over. We swapped so that I had Anna and then she started to cry," he chuckles, amused by our hour-old selves ganging up on him.

"And yet, we still bully you," I smile, pulling on his black tie to straighten it out. "The downside of being surround by girls." I add, offering him a weak smile.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." he replies, looking much better with his tie now smoothed out.

"Dad?" I query, cautiously emphasising the nerves present in my gut. "Do you forgive me? For leaving?" I ask, desperate to lay it all out there. "I never did say I was sorry but you know I am, right? You know I regret walking away from you." I stress, needing him to finally hear this.