I'm Having These Weird Dreams •The Flash/Barry Allen•

Someone Find Me, Before I Lose Myself.

I can't concentrate.
There's so much in my head, I can't seem to remember anything.
I can't even seem to remember to get Iris' coffee.
Everytime I close my eyes, a memory plays of a Gabriella in another universe.
There's happiness in some, horror in many, and plain sadness in others.

How am I to remember all of this?
Am I supposed to remember all of this?
Do these play in my head, for a purpose?

I'm trapped in my thoughts, until my eyes find the light, and I'm brought back to what I think is reality.
And that scares me.

For I can't find the difference between what is real, and what isn't.

The visions are all so realistic.

I feel the laughter.

I feel the pain.

I feel everything.

I feel love for people I have never met. I feel the pain of deaths I have never witnessed.
I feel the power of the path of evil, the path I never chose.

And somehow, I feel their mistakes too.

I feel the guilt, and the emptiness they feel.

And they are not me, no matter how they look.

They are not me. And I am not them.

Barry's told me, to keep a dream journal, just in case a memory hold a secret, worth the lives of people.

But here's the thing,

I don't want to remember all of this.

These memories do not belong to me, and it feels like I'm intruding on lives.

I also feel like if I choose to remember, I'll forget who I am.

I'll forget what I was and who I wanted to be.

Someone find me, please.

Before I lose myself.

Love,
Gabriella.

----------

I look up from the black notebook Iris got me, and put my pen down, stretching a little bit.

I read through what I wrote again, and aside from my handwriting, I'm quite content with it.

It's only just the truth. But I've heard truth stings, and hopefully, this won't sting anyone.

"You okay?", Asks a tender voice. Barry.

"I'm fine", I force a smile, looking at him.

He raises and eyebrow. He knows I'm an absolute mess.

"I'm not great. But this journal thing may just help."

He nods.

"I know how you feel Barry. Having the worlds weight on your shoulders."

He looks at me, blinking back surprise.

I continue," Except I have plenty of weight from different worlds."

His green eyes fill with sadness, but his facial expression says otherwise.

"Well at least I'm not alone."

There's an awkward silence. We almost always have Iris to fill into this bit.

"So", I break the monotony of our sober conversation," Hows Patty?", I smirk.

He blushes," Oh shut it, she's a lovely human being and I like her a lot"

A part of me sinks, but another part of me, the more prominent one, feels happy for him.

"I wanna meet her! She seems especially gutsy going after Joe like that. By the way, I'm sorry I haven't been around for too many metas."

He smiles," No problem Gabi, you've been taking on a lot anyway. You're welcome though to work in Star Labs."

"Oh yeah that I will do", I smirk.

A low hum of the cello playing erupts from my phone.

"Hello?", I speak into it.

"Yeah I tried Barry but that idiot left his phone somewhere, we need him pronto Gabi!", Barks Cisco through the phone.

I give Barry a look and he nods. I shut my phone, and for some reason he's still standing at my door.

"What?"

"I assumed you needed a lift, unless you wanna walk."

I laugh," Cheeky little-"

"Ah ah none of that language", he cuts me off.

"Fine let's go", I jump into his arms," UP UP AND AWAY MATEY!"