I'm Having These Weird Dreams •The Flash/Barry Allen•

Back At It Again

I'm laughing. He's got his hands slinked around my waist, sending comfort all around me. His eyes hold warmth and happiness, and he picks me up, twirling me around.

Its almost like this is a movie. Its almost like this isn't real.

That's because it isn't.

My vision swirls and now, it's the complete opposite. He isn't there.

I'm looking at the clock, but I'm unable to read the time. But there's a jolt in my memory telling me it's been 3 days since he's gone. Gone.

He's dead.

----

Mornings. I hate mornings.

Though there's some part of me which loves them. Because mornings are the time I can escape into myself, and get that feeling which satisfies me immensely.

It happens when I wake up at the break of dawn, and when I watch the sun rise. I feel like I'm the only lone person on the entire planet, and I only have myself to please.

Today however, did not have that morning. I woke up at noon, and I'm very groggy due to that.

I was up all night writing my letters to the ones I loved, and also sending them around.

Roy's letter was a big toughie, but I left it with the others, hoping they would know to send it to him, wherever he is.

Right now, I sit in the woods, where Barry said Zoom had his lair on Earth - 2. Luckily, there isn't any lair here, and I've managed to fly up here and settle down for a while.

I'm aware that if they need any help, I could just go there in an instant, and I'm also aware that Cisco can easily find me. Which is good.

I'm going to sew another mask and a pair of gloves for myself. I stole Joe's special sewing kit he had stashed in his second drawer, ready to mend any damages of cloth when we were reckless little kids.

I'm upset I couldnt say bye to him in a better way.
But it's really not like I can do anything now.

It's completely obvious that the loss of Barry's speed is going to push them to be greatly reckless, and I've left them at a horrible time.

But I can't be in a room where all of them eye me, and if anything goes wrong, I'll be the first person they'll blame.

They just need space. But just enough , so they can breathe and relax until zoom strikes again.

He most certainly thinks that Barry isn't a threat anymore, and he most certainly thinks we can't do anything.

But he's wrong.

Last night, I had the weirdest vision. Like the usual I was looking through another world through a Gabriella, but she was tremendously different.

She had quite the robotic voice and she said things about some speed force and I couldn't understand what it meant.

In front of me, stood Barry, and he had this bewildered look on his face. It's scared me, for I couldn't hear more than mumbles, and his expression just got worse, and worse.

For the first time, I felt absolutely useless. Unable to help, unable to find something out of the ordinary.

What am I supposed to do?

---

There's an odd, continuous pain surging in my head. It's almost as if it's asking for permission to ruin me and bring a wrath of pain upon me. But I don't let it.