I'm Having These Weird Dreams •The Flash/Barry Allen•

Strong.

I was always told that lying was a bad thing.

I'm pretty sure we were all told that. Whenever we stole an extra Tater Tot at dinner and bluffed about it, Joe would tell us off, and then go make us plenty more to steal.

Often, we wouldn't lie, because we had no reason to, but when we did, the guilt would ping us and the truth would hit us like a storm.

I vaguely remember Iris fibbing about the time she bought makeup for us from a drugstore when we were thirteen, and Joe had suspiciously eyed her little handbag which was filled, almost to the point that the seams could tear apart.

Barry would often lie about 'mistakenly' shaving too, but that was later, much after Joe was okay with my boyfriend, and not to mention Iris'.

My first boyfriend broke my heart, and even though I remember him now, I haven't visited him yet.

He's in prison for what he did.

He was always lying to me, and that may scream cheating, but it really wasnt that.
It was almost like he'd manipulated me, to thinking that every relationship had physical fights and then disgusting peer pressure filled stuff after.
I lost all my shit after this one time, when he hit me, and as we walked up the stairs to my house, he slung his filthy arm around me and told Joe our little tiff was just a misunderstanding.

Turns out, I loved him, despite for what he did to me. I know I didn't love all of him, just the part when he acted like he loved me. Right at the start.
All he wanted was the money my parents left me, and all of the other inherited stuff, like jewellery, and property and other shit like that.

If Barry hadn't followed us the day he pushed me for the money, I'd have been found, several hours later, dying in the corner of an abandoned alleyway.

After Joe found out what exactly my ex was, he got him arrested.

And he didn't let any other guy than Barry enter a five metre radius from me.

Well, apart from Roy, and all the other people we've faced.

And so, when I'd approached Barry to ask him what he saw and heard, he shook his head and laughed, telling me it was the speed force that talked to him through us, and how he was so happy to have gotten his speed back.

And I was told lying was a bad thing.

----

I was jealous.

The way he returned so carefree of his surroundings and the way he felt like he was stronger than everyone else and nothing could get to him.

Even when Laurel from Earth - 2 arrived, and shook both Roy and I, Barry made it straight through, and so did Wally, almost making up for the Flash's disappearance.

I couldnt look at Laurel and hurt her. She was evil. But she was still Laurel.

All I could do was console people and help them. And I didn't like that one bit.

I wanted to do something for the people in my city. Heck if not for them, just for my family.

You're so useless.

I can do this. I have to stay strong.

You're not worthy. You don't deserve your family.

Stay strong. Keep your mind steady. Don't let yourself fall apart.

Everyone knows you're a good for nothing little wandering soul.