I'm Having These Weird Dreams •The Flash/Barry Allen•

Mirrors, Pain & Futures

Look at you.

Look at you relying on your past self to have done astonishing things which you may haven't even had learnt yet.
Look at you trying so hard to be a person you will never be.
Look at you relying on your past self to be better at you.
Look at you wishing that you never made the mistakes you did, and if you could only go back, just a year, and tell your past self that all you knew was wrong.

How can you be proud of the person you've become? How can you say you've grown as a person?
How can you look at yourself and think,' I've changed for the better'?

You're only just lying through your teeth. You're only just giving yourself an illusion in the mirror to look at.

And how the hell can you be okay with that?

How the hell can you live with that sick guilt?

How the hell can you look at this obvious blatant lie in the mirror and smile truthfully everyday?

Do you want to know the truth about yourself?
Do you even want to know who you are?
You could call yourself a lie, but that will do little for the person you're becoming.

What you are, is a work in progress.

You are not done yet, so keep on fighting.
You can mend yourself with the truths.
And low and behold someday, you'll look in the mirror, and you'll see yourself.

I'm not saying those harsh scars made out of lies will fade away, they will remain.
But they ground you and show you what is real.

And trust me, you will be able to differentiate between what you recognise as real, and what actually is.

So you better hang in there, and hold on for dear life if you have to, because someday, you'll see the real you for who you are, and that day will be amazing.

I'm also not saying that you have to wait these days out, you have to live them. If you don't, trust me, you'll regret it.

You're allowed to have bad times, and times which will scare the shit out of you, and you'll be left wondering why you ever thought of that, but it's okay.

Why you ask? Why would pain be good? Or even okay?

Because you're a work in progress, and pain is just an annoying thing that'll help you along the way.

Pain is that awful disgusting klutzy stain you managed to make on a white T-shirt when you were eating pizza.

But it's okay, it's fine, and eventually it goes away, not completely, but just so.

Love,
Future Gabriella.