12: A Daydream Away

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And I'll keep you a daydream away

Just watch from a safe place

So I never have to lose – A Daydream Away by All Time Low

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I sit on the floor beside the window seat, since it was occupied when I got back from seeing my mother. I came in to find Gemmy fast asleep in the very same spot I sit in all day and night, I wanted so badly to move her so she could be more comfortable. I know she'll be sore when she wakes, but I can't really do much about it.. The best I could do was cover her with a light blanket so she wouldn't get cold.. “Niall” she sighs in her sleep and I look up as the moonlight shines bright through the window highlighting her beautiful face. She must be dreaming, but by the looks of it, it isn't a nightmare.. Thankfully it isn't especially if she's mumbling my name in her sleep.. I don't know how I'd react if my face ever haunted her dreams.. She hasn't had any nightmares since that night.. The night where I thought I had felt her warmth under my fingertips.. It must have been my imagination, but how could she feel it too? I wish it was real, maybe it could have been permanent and I could have come back, in the state that I was and she could have offered me the hug that I so desperately need..

I push the from my head, I don't want to give myself false illusions. Nothing can ever really happen between us, not only because I can't really feel her.. But because we don't really know each other. She doesn't know me.. I'm sure if she knew all about my fucked up past she'd want nothing to do with me. And if I want to keep her close, then keeping my past from her is the only way. It's an entertaining thought that she actually dreams about me, and I'd like to think it's because she might like me. But why? Maybe she's just curious about what I am, and that draws her to me, mere curiosity..

Either way, I'll never have a chance to find out if i'm right or wrong, for now I think keeping at a distance is best.. Unless my own feelings eat me alive.. I study every inch of her features as I watch her sleep, a small crease between her brows makes my mouth turn up into a half smile. Her blonde hair is tied in a messy bun, and her lashes are fanned out over her slightly flushed cheeks. She never ceases to amaze me, she looks beautiful at all times, almost god like..

“Shh it's gonna be okay” I cry along with him as the blast of emotion wakes me from my deep slumber and I sit upright trying to assemble my thoughts and remember where I am. When I look around my eyes instantly land on Niall who happens to be watching me with swollen eyes and a small smile. “You alright?” his voice is low and soft, it makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up and the fact that I had dreamt yet again that I could wrap my arms around him, makes my heart ache a little. It felt so real.. I can't make out my dreams from reality at the moment, was that guy part of the dream as well?

“Yeah fine” I wrap the blanket that I imagine he threw on me, tighter and rub a hand on the back of my sore neck, this window seat is not comfortable at all. “I thought you'd be sore” his bright blue eyes glow in the dark, the sadness in his stare makes me rip my gaze from his. Does my dream have any truth behind it? He looks just as he did in my sad yet wonderful dream, the only difference is that I have no idea why he's so upset.. He has to be upset, just look at the state of him. His eyes look small from crying, as streaks of dried tears highlight his slightly flushed cheeks. “Here” he shakes the small bottle of Advil and tosses it to me, landing in my lap. I open the cap and spill out two tablets in the palm of my hand, “Um I-”

“Got it” his voice is hoarse as he hands me a bottle of water, he's all too caring.. I down the pills with a few chugs of the water bottle as the room falls into silence, but it isn't awkward. “Niall?” I squeak and he stops staring blankly at his hands in his lap, “Yeh?”

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