Dark Paradise || N.H

14: Unrealistic Ideas

On my way to school I couldn't keep my fingertips from tracing over my lips. The feel of his kiss doesn't seem to fade.. The mere thought of the kiss makes my lips tingle.. I never thought it would happen, I never thought I'd fall in like with someone who is well, not living.. How is that even possible? Throughout the whole time that Niall has come into my life I never stopped to ask myself how any of this is possible. I mean I have thought about it but I never try to figure it out. There's always this gut feeling that tells me this, whatever this is that I have with him, is okay.

Even though the whole idea of finally getting to physically reach out to him, is exciting. It just brings up the series of questions that remain unanswered. Starting from the beginning. How am I able to see him? I have asked myself this question time and time again, yet never thought to find the answer. I always get to the point where I think I'm just going crazy and it could all be some dream. But I have yet to wake up from this deep slumber. And why is it only me? This is a slightly more complex question.. Actually no everything that has to deal with Niall is complex. But I don't understand why it's only me.. “He needs someone like you...” The words that man who refuses to give me any information, replays in my head. But that's just it, what is it about me that Niall needs? I'm just a regular girl, with a passion for books, music, and fashion. What could I possible offer him that could help him in any way? Which brings up the most recent set of questions, how am I able to touch him? Why now? And is it permanent? I'd like to think it is.

The more answers I try to come up with the more questions I end up having.. I never asked for this to happen, but in a way I'm glad it did. I got the chance to meet an amazing guy, yes he happens to be dead, but no guy is perfect. And the saying holds it's truth, Niall is far from perfect but so am I. Although Niall holds so much in, although I feel like I can trust him, even with my heart.. There is still so much I need to learn about him. The fact that he opened up to me about his mom puts me a little more at ease. That was way more important than what I had originally planned tog et out of him. It's a part of his past, his life. She became depressed after his death, but what happened to his father? He didn't mention him for a second. Does he still live? If he does I need to make it my mission to find him. I can't manage to get any answers from Niall i'm sure his father will give them to me.

“Gemmy!” the obnoxious sound of Hollies voice pierces my dazed state. I look all around until I finally see her crossing the street surprisingly not accompanied by her clones, but with Robin. “Oh hey..” I offer a small smile as the come up beside me, “Hey Hey, How was your weekend? Robin say hi it's rude” Hollie sounds all too cheerful and I mentally roll my eyes at her bossy attitude toward her own boyfriend. That must be a great relationship.. “Good thanks yours?” I look down at my feet as we keep walking. “Oh yeah, Hey Gem” the tone of his voice makes me look up so I don't seem so rude. And when our eyes meet for a split second the slight gleam in his gaze makes me uneasy. “Hi” I mumble and go back to staring at my feet. “My weekend was good too! I spent most of it with Robin” Hollie admits proudly and I almost gag. “Nice..”

“Yeah, ha what about you? Have any boys over?” she bumps my shoulder with hers playfully, and I half choke on my own saliva. “No” I feel my cheeks flush as I'm forced to make eye contact with her. “Awww! Yeah you did! Your blushing!” She teases, and I swallow down my annoyance. “No really I-”

“So ..you have a boyfriend?” Robin asks randomly, and I look at him from the corner of my eye. “No I-”

“Oh you so do!” Hollie interjects and Robin sighs heavily but I'm the only one who seems to notice.. He's so weird..

The day drags on, as I sit perched on the bay window seat, only tearing my gaze from the beautiful sunlit sky to look over at the clock Gemmy assaulted only minutes before I felt the touch of her lips.. It's only noon. My mind has been racing with all the possible problems that can come from not only the kiss, but from the whole ability to suddenly touch her. I don't even know if the ability I have to touch her is permanent. If it's not she'll be devastated, even if she denies it.