Dark Paradise || N.H

19: In Love With A Dead Boy

"I fell in love with you 
Now you're my one, only one 
'Cause all my life I've been so blue 
But in that moment you fulfilled me 

Now I'll tell all my friends 
I fell in love with a dead boy 
Now I'll tell my family 
I wish you could have met him" - Anthony & The Johnsons (I fell in love with a dead boy)

I listened to so many Violate playlists on 8tracks and it inspired me so much. If you watch American Horror Story you know Violate is Tate & Violet's ship. Ugh I love them. Anyway enjoy! :) I finally figured out exactly where this story gonna go :D

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“Gem, are you sure your alright?” My mother asks from beside me in the back seat, she made Nick sit in front so she could examine every inch of me. I feel like i've heard that damn question too much lately, but as much as I want to say 'No, i'm not alright'

I won't... I can't. I am the definition of the perfect daughter to my parents. I'm never mixed up in any trouble, I don't party all night, drink, smoke, etc. The only sniffing of anything I ever do is when my nose is in between the pages of a book, and the aroma of the binding fills my senses, then drowning myself in it captivated by the words written on the pages.

So how am I supposed to tell them, that I feel an emptiness inside me that for some reason seems to fade out whenever he's around.

“Yeah I'm fine.. I probably didn't sleep well” I force a smile and my mothers eyes stare at me with a knowing sadness that can't be held. I look away briefly making eye contact with Nick in the passenger seat. His brows are furrowed and it's like he's asking me some unspoken question.

I nearly crack my head open against the damn window when Gemmy climbs out of the backseat with her mother.. And Nick quickly scurries to her side from the passenger seat. He's almost oblivious to the fact that this is my old home.. He's been here countless times, we sat in this very room talking shit about the people at school. But his main priority is Gemmy.. What is he doing here with her? Obviously they were together.. not alone. Thankfully.. Calm down. The Gemmy is what's important right now. She looks - not well.

I stand looking down at them all, like i've done for as long as I can remember and she is looking right at me. Running a hand through my hair, the breath is nearly kicked out of me, because although i've made myself invisible to Gemmy's aching stare she still manages to look right through me. I spread my fingers out and press my hand against the glass of the window. Holding her stare until she disappears into the house. Was she able to see me or was it just a habit of knowing this is the spot I always reside in?

“Nick.. stop asking if i'm alright, i've heard the question more times than I can count” I hear them ascend up to the second landing, stopping right outside the door.

“Right i'm sorry I just wanted to make sure-”

“I know. But i'm fine” she cuts Nick off mid-sentence and appears at the top of the stairs. She scans the room quickly and subtly. Walking further into the room to sit on the edge of her bed. She's looking for me..

“Shit” Nick stops where Gemmy stood not more than a few seconds ago. It's finally hit him.. His eyes gleam with the tears that begin to form. “Wha-” Gemmy began but quickly shut up, realization hitting her as well.

“Oh I- forgot to mention-”

“That you live in my best friends old house?” Nick interrupts walking toward me unknowingly. “God.. I haven't been up here since the night before..” he continues letting his head hang low after she remains quiet. I rest a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, even if he can't feel it. I wish things were different.. They can be.