Dark Paradise || N.H

20: Pieces To The Puzzle

I've watched Gemmy pace the room about a dozen times after getting off the phone with her grandmother last night. I only heard the one sided conversation from Gemmy.

“How do you-”

“But I can't-”

“Fine..”

She couldn't finish half her sentences, but by the way she keeps pacing and the gears in her head seem to be turning I know it has to be something important. God I would simply ask if I hadn't sworn to myself to stay away. All because I need to hear the truth from my dad. Why can he just tell me?

Asking might not even be an option considering my lack of expression. She probably wouldn't tell me anyway. “Gemmy are you ready to go?” her mother calls from the bottom of the steps. Go? Where? “Yeah just a sec!” she leans over the railing and rushes to her backpack, stuffing all the small essentials she'll need.

Since our encounter last night I've forced myself not to follow her around the house like a lost puppy. It's pathetic really, even though I am technically staying away from her – I still want to know what she's up to. You mean you want to see if she's happier without you.. The small voice in my head boasts. I ignore it hating that it's dead on with it's assumptions.

She isn't happier though, it's only been a day at the most so I guess it's understandable. Then again that phone call with her grandmother really set things over the edge.

Could that be where she's going? Is it that important that she's ditching school for it? Not that I blame her really.. Anything is better than going to that hell hole. Of course things are probably a lot different for her than they were for me when I was in high school..

I watch her from the window seat as she scans over the room one last time. Going over her mental checklist to see if she's forgotten anything. All seems to be fine until she looks in my direction. My breath hitches as I wait for her to say something – to prove that she's capable of controlling every aspect of my being. But she doesn't..

She sighs and rushes down the stairs leaving me paralyzed on my ass. Why do I get the feeling that whatever it is that's got her so on edge has a lot to do with me?

I listen intently to her whole family shuffling around downstairs, muffled voices and cries can be heard. Setting my nerves on edge and my curiosity at it's peak. If this has anything to do with me then maybe I should go? No.

That's exactly what my father would expect me to do. This probably has nothing to do with me at all. I'm not caving in – I always half assed all my decisions in the past and i'm sick of it. What a great time to decide to change.

I wanted to call to him and tell him what was going on but I couldn't help but play his fathers words to me on a loop. “Your his salvation”

Then I came to the conclusion that if I am his salvation and he doesn't know it – its because he isn't supposed to. It would be too easy.

I don't know exactly how i'm supposed to save him or what will come of it but I hope my gramma has the answers. If she knows about Niall without me telling her then she must know how all of this is actually possible.

Through the whole six hour bus ride I didn't manage to get a wink of sleep. I thought maybe I could catch up on my sleepless nights but no such luck. The questions in my mind won't allow it – it's so unsettling that it's managed to disrupt my physical well being.