Through the dark // h.s.

Chapter 5

STEPHANY'S P.O.V.

So.. Madeline asked me to go to a party of some friends of her.

"Maybe you make some new friends''

At first I thought it would be fun to go to the party but later that day while I was finishing decorating and cleaning I changed my mind. So I decide to talk to Madeline.

"How do you know these people?,' this is your first year too right?" I ask.

'Yes it is but i already work two years in a café in the neighbourhood, so people from this school come there a lot, I get to know them and they're very nice!.. And I'm sure they will like you because they're my friends, and I like you'' she says.

What she said makes sense; I mean if it were her friends they were probably very kind.

''Alright I go with you'' I say. But deep in my mind I had a feeling of Madeline. I know she is so good to me and that you can trust her, but there was something not right but I think; I will never figure out what.

I check my phone while I eat some breakfast and I see I have a message from Jason. I didn''t know if I want to open it because i'm a little dissapointed in him. You know when I left New York we said to each other that we will always love each other. But we also know that with this distance our realationship won't last long.

''What's up''? Madelinde asks. I probably look worried

''Oh, it's nothing'' I say. Oh no.. this was dumb. I realized that when you say those three words there's always something going on.

''Yes there is'' she says.

I let out a deep breath ''I have a boyfriend in New york'' I say.

''Why are you worried then?'' she asks. It was nice that she was always so patient

''He didn't text me since I left. Until now''.

''Asshole.'' she says.

I laugh a bit ''I do love him but it was always complicated''.

''Why, what do you mean?'' Madeline asks.

I was happy she asked that because i want to talk about it but I don't want to be whiny. I take a deep breath, and realized that I was here to forget everything. ''He always understood me and was there for me when others couldn't or didn't, he was the first person I really loved. I dont know if he belongs to me, I actually don't think so but I love him because he understands me and wants to talk and listen. But I think the main reason is that he knows everything because he was there when nobody stood by my side'' I say.

''Woah, Steph , I didn't expect this.'' Madeline finally says.

''I want to move on and I want to give him and me space, I want to forget everything, I want to close chapter New york. But it's so weird because I love that chapter.'' I say.

''Shall I give you some advice?'' Madeline asks. I nod, '' in a few days you have your first class right?', 'than close the chapter today. leave Jason in the past''. Madeline says. '' It's good for both of you i think'' she says.

''I think you're right, but how do I have to do that?' I ask while I look right in Madeline's eyes.

I thought so long of the situation but for now I didn't want to break up because I didn't want to lose contact. People ask if they can still stay friends, but everyone knows that most of the times that fails. But Jason was my first real love, he knows me better than i know myself. But this is not going to work.

Maybe I just have to call him. we can just talk about everything. It's sunday and tonight is some kind of a party i don't exactly know but Madeline want me to come. And i guess i don't really have a choise because i want to work on our friendship because we are together in a dorm for minimal a year. And i like going to party's but i didn't want to go with a broken heart. so i think i call him later and we could talk about it. But it was a little weird; he is not texting, calling or something like that.

I walk to the bathroom because i really need to get ready. I didn't have that much plans today, but tonight i have that party and i want to go to target and look for some stuff. I also got a package delivered at the postoffice, because you can't let things delivered at your dorm.

Its sounds stupid but i forgot my bag at my parents house so they sent it to me and i got this mail from target; the package came. I also need some fairy lights and school supplies from target. It's very close so i think i walk since i still didn't get a car. But i want a good car and i didn't floor me in it so it will come later.

I walked out the door and get my package at the postoffice. When i walk to target i looked around and saw how pretty it was over here, i don't know why but i didn't recognize it befour. But this was a beautiful place. At target i bought the fairy lights and some clothespins. I saw very much nice stuff but i only need an etui with some pencils and that kind of stuff. I also bought  a notebook with a black marble print. I have kind of a notebook obsession. I just love to look at them. Kinda weird actually.

I walked back to our dorm and i was almost there when i hear my phone rang and I got it out of my pocket. ''Hey it's Eva'' i heard the voice on the phone. ''Hi, nice that you call'' i say while i change my route, i didn't want to have this conversation with Madeline around, Eva was a friend of mine from New york but she never really was there for me and not that we're not friends anymore but i actually don't really know where we stand. ''How are you?'' i start. ''I'm good, everything goes fine. But thats not why i actually call.''

The only thing i thought 'ugh i already know why i left New york'. Everything has to be in an hurry, nobody ever want to have a nice little conversation or something. ''I call because of Jason, you know that girl Sarah?'' she said.

''yes i do, why ?'' i ask.

''I saw them kissing'' she says. My head filled with thoughts; couldn't she wait with this news? Why does she tells me this? Why is he doing this? Wait why would i even believe her.

"How do you know?'' i ask.

''I saw the picture.'' she says.

''can you send it to me?'' i ask.

''Steph you're sure you want the picture?'' she asks. I thought, i do want the picture because i didn't really know Eva that good; could i trust her? But why would she lie about this. On the other hand i didn't want to see a picture of my boyfriend which i loved kissing somewhere with a stupid whore named Eva.

''no'' i finally say. ''i don't want the picture right now, thanks for telling. But save the picture for me, i maybe ask for it later.

''i  will bye'' she said and hung up.

Okay that was a weird conversation. I walk to our dorm and felt on my bed and i realized everything. Jason got someone else. I didn't know what i had to thought. I felt furious because we promised that we would call when we fell in love with  someone else or when some of us want to break up or stuff like that. One simple fucking call, was that so hard? But then i felt tears, i truly loved him. To be honest in this mornig i was at the point of breaking up. But not like this. But my thoughts stopped when i heard Madeline walked out the shower ( I had totally forgotten she also lived here)

''are you okay'' she asks

''no'' i say. I explained everything to her

''we catch him still'' i laugh a bit, but i didn't know if that was what i want.