The next couple of days were just a blur. I just did the same thing everyday. I went to school, walked with Shawn, saw Jack, get dropped off at my grandma's, hang out with my cousins, wait for Shawn to text me, get picked up by my dad, go to sleep, and then just repeat it again the next day. Jack left this morning and it kind of bummed me out. I wish I got see him one last time before he went off. I mean last time I saw him was yesterday when he picked me up, but I only saw him for about 30 minutes. Sometimes I hate the schedule he has for football. All he does is go to practice and go to sport related things with his football friends. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't have time for me. I'm tired of feeling like a chore. I'm not a chore. I'm a person. A person he should love and care for and schedule some time for. I don't know, maybe I'm just going to get my period soon. Since I'm acting and thinking like this. Jack loves me and wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I just need to learn how to control my emotions. I can't just cry just because I'm not "getting enough attention." No, that's stupid. I can take care of myself, I can treat myself, and I can keep myself happy. Yeah, that's it.
On the bright side, it's Friday!!!! Which means it's the last day of summer school! I was thinking about doing something cool after school, but I made no friends in that summer school. I tried to, but nobody seemed to get in to it. They just kind of avoided speaking to others throughout the whole month of school. I respected their decision though, I get it. The only actual friend I made during school was Shawn. Even though I've known him since middle school, we grew close.
I really did underestimate him. He's an amazing guy. He's super funny. Not the mean kind of funny, not the making fun of someone's appearance kind of funny, but the amusing kind of funny. The strange and awkward kind of humor that only he can pull off. He can get really awkward, but it's entertaining. The way he reacts to things and responds to them. I've never seen anything like it. He questions a lot of things, not just random things. He questions your opinions and the way you think. The way you say things and why you say them, he's always asking about things. Not in annoying way, but in a genuinely curious way. I admire that. He's super sweet, but hates to be called that. He doesn't want to be remembered for being "sweet" or "nice". He wants to be known as a person that helped you pursue your dreams. He wants to be known for the guy that always supported you, and cheered you on. He wants to hear "You, because of you I didn't give up on myself." That's exactly what he wants to be remembered for. He just wants you to know that he'll always be there for you. No matter what happens.
He hasn't exactly told me that he's always going to be there for me, but I can tell by his actions that he means something like that. Of course I'd be more reassured if he told me that personally, I just have to give him time. He never really brings anyone in. He keeps everything to himself. I honestly don't know a lot of things about his personal life, but I'm just glad I'm getting to know him and his character.
I quickly got ready for school, and now I'm ready to catch the bus for the last time. I speed walk my way to the bus stop, and wait for it to come by. The bus comes by a couple minutes later, and I step in. As I step in, I notice that the bus is pretty crowded today so I guess I'll be standing up. I notice that everyone decided to show up on the last day. Even the group of girls that always ditch class to smoke pot in the restrooms.
I get out of the bus, and start walking to school. I'm actually going to miss this. The feeling of anticipation and excitement I get every morning. I hate waking up early, but I always looked forward in to seeing Shawn. He would always keep me up and entertained. I'm going to miss seeing him every morning I really am.
I get to school and start heading to class. I greet Mr. Rogers with a smile and go to my seat. I see that Mary didn't show up today, I'm actually glad she didn't. I didn't need to hear her blabbing on about Shawn during the whole class period. I notice Shawn isn't here either....why isn't he here? He's always here. He never misses a day of school. I mean he wasn't the best student that got the best of grades, but at least he had the decency to show up to class all the time.
I'm going to text him.
Me: hey where are you??
As I wait for a text back, Mr. Rogers starts passing out our grade for this class. He passes me mine, hey I got an A. Not bad, Amy. Well then again I did retake this class so of course I'd be getting an A in here.
The class period goes by long and painfully, and still no response from Shawn. Whatever. I guess I'll be walking alone today. It's fine, really. It just kind of killed my mood. No Jack, no Shawn. It's fine I don't need to anyone to walk me anyway, I'm walking to the bus stop today since Jack isn't here. It's right in front of the school, I'll be alright.
I just wish he gave me a heads up, like at least notify me before you leave me like a lost pup. I'm not a lost pup. Why did I think that? I'm a found pup, a found pup that can walk herself and take herself to places.
The class bell finally rings and I jolt right out. I'm free. I can finally sleep in. I can actually enjoy my summer without worrying about going to school the next day. I'm done and I'm free. Well at least for the rest of this summer.
